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有博士学位的人为什么也会犯最愚蠢的错---关于情商 I Have a PhD . . . and I Commit the Sin of Stupidity 来源: Profiles International Posted by Aoife Gorey on Thu, Jan 24, 2013 “How could I have been so stupid?!!!” We have all screamed those words. The only thing that differentiates each occurrence is the degree of the stupid action that preceded that question. What are we actually saying when those words exit our mouths like a blow horn? Did our IQ drop just long enough and far enough to propel us to make a decision 30 or 40 points below what should be produced in those moments? Unlikely. This is what happened. First, we responded in such a way, in action or in word that resulted in a severe consequence. We screamed the words above almost immediately after we started experiencing the acid of the consequence because we immediately recognized there was a better path to take. More than that, the “better choice” actually aligned more with our habitual pattern of normal decision making. The poor choice we made actually was very different from how we normally act and we are shocked that we actually said what we said or did what we did. Hence we cry out, “How can I have been so stupid?!!!” My belief: What we are really saying is not “How could I have been so stupid?!!!” but rather “How could I have been so emotional?!!!” Stop for a moment and think back at your worst decisions. Why did you make them? Was it because you methodically walked through a thorough problem-solving exercise, listing all of your options and then carefully weighing them against one another, concluding with, “After all of my analysis, this is my best option”? I don’t think so, or better stated, I don’t think that you thought . . . at all. Our worst decisions lacked thought, which means they were impulsive, which means they were emotionally driven. It’s not a matter of stupidity (related to IQ and critical thought); it’s a matter of emotionality. Let me explain. Brain science is wonderful. As soon as we get stressed or nervous, brain science tells us the energy in our minds moves from our frontal lobe (the place of critical thought) to the amygdala (the place of emotional thought). The amygdala is the home of our “flight or fight” responses. When we experience negative emotions (fear, anger, stress, anxiety) our amygdala takes over and we do and say things very impulsively, whether under the category of fight or under the category of flight. When that happens, we don’t make “intelligent” decisions, or decisions that flow from the frontal lobe, we make decisions from the base, animalistic, survivalist section of our brain. How can we be so stupid? Oops, how can we be so emotional? That’s why the proponents of emotional intelligence are “taking on” the long-held champion of intelligence quotient (IQ). People who have very high IQ’s have a hard time controlling their emotions. Neuroticism is not prejudice, it affects us all, regardless of our IQ. That’s why some of our individual contributors may actually, at their core, be better leaders than some of our CEO’s. What makes you a leader? There are, of course, many things. However, think about this: leaders overcome obstacles everyone else only wishes they could overcome. That’s what makes them leaders, or better said that’s what makes them influencers. People gravitate towards others who have overcome the obstacles they themselves have struggled to overcome. They go to the influencer (notice I didn’t say “the person with the position”) and opens themselves up to that person. They want to be influenced, which means they want to be led in that area. Leadership is not position, it is influence. One of the greatest sins committed in leadership is that we don’t learn from our failures. After we ask “How could I have been so stupid?!!!” we evaluate our thought processes instead of our emotional ones. Why was I so upset? Why did I care so much about them disagreeing with me? Why do I need the after-dinner drink so bad? These are emotional decisions, not intelligence based ones. If we simply “confess” the truth that we may have a pattern of being emotionally-driven in certain situations, we start noticing the patterns and triggers that impulsively drive our energy to our amygdala and then can begin to change them and keep our energy flowing through our frontal lobes, right where it needs to be.
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