Let's check it out our funny chan chan man ^^

希望能帮大家唤醒一下记忆，可是我之前整理的时候居然忘记把第几集弄上去了。。。。。

OKAY， let's start....

Chandler: All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers... it doesn't make much of a difference... Chandler: (as Rachel is cutting up her cards) Y'know, if you listen closely, you can hear a thousand retailers scream.Chandler: Did you make it, or are you just serving it? Chandler: Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realized I didn't need it, so I balled it up and... (Sees that Monica is glaring at him) ...now I wish I was dead.

Chandler: Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about the flatness of a child's pillow. Chandler: Well, no, although I did have an imaginary friend, who... my parents actually preferred. Chandler: Oh, Satan's minions at work again... Chandler: Well, maybe it's a contest, y'know? Like, collect all five? Chandler: So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this?

Chandler: Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong? Chandler: You got waaaay too much free time. Chandler: Eleven days before Halloween.. All the good costumes are gone? Rachel: Come on! You guys can pee standing up.Chandler: We can? All right, I'm tryin' that.Chandler: So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night, Sat-ur-day night!Joey: No plans, huh?Chandler: Not a one.Ross: Not even, say, breaking up with Janice?Chandler: Oh, right, right, shut up.

Chandler: Thank God you didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out.Chandler: Nothing, just your overcoat sounds remarkably like Brent Mussberger.Chandler: You're watching a football game at a funeral?Joey: No, it's the pre-game. I'm gonna watch it at the reception.Chandler: You are a frightening, frightening man.Andrea: Sorry- Hi, I'm Dorothy's daughter.Chandler: Hi, I'm Chandler, and I have no idea who Dorothy is.Chandler: And this from the cry-for-help department. Are you wearing makeup?Joey: Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor slash model.Chandler: That's so funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man slash woman.

Chandler: Do you know which one you're gonna be?Joey: No, but I hear lyme disease is open, so... (Crosses fingers) Chandler: Good luck, man. I hope you get it.Phoebe: Oh, I believe it. I think the baby can totally hear everything. I can show you. Look, this will seem a little weird, but you put your head inside this turkey, and then we'll all talk, and you'll hear everything we say.Chandler: I'd just like to say that I'm totally behind this experiment. In fact, I'd very much like to butter your head.Chandler: Yes. It's very difficult to appreciate a Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse.Joey: Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD.Chandler: Tonight, on a very special Blossom.

Monica: Why do you guys have so many keys in there anyway?Chandler: (sarcastic) For an emergency just like this.Chandler: Ok, Monica, only dogs can hear you now, so, look, the door's open. Here we go.Chandler: Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on its ass!Chandler: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud!Chandler: Yeah, 'cause I already asked Janice.Monica: What?!Ross: C'mon, this was a pact! This was your pact! Chandler: I snapped, okay? I couldn't handle the pressure and I snapped.Monica: Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup in history!Chandler: I'm not saying it was a good idea, I'm saying I snapped!

Chandler: Y'know, if you're gonna work late, I could look in on him for you.Ross: Oh, that'd be great! Okay, but if you do, make sure it seems like you're there to see him, okay, and you're not like doing it as a favor to me.Chandler: Okay, but if he asks, I'm not going to lie.Janice: (Startles them) There you are! Haaah, you got away from me!Chandler: (Imitating) But you found me!Janice: Here, Ross, take our picture. (Hands him a camera and he starts snapping) Smile! You're on Janice Camera!Chandler: Kill me. Kill me now. Joey: You seen Sandy?Chandler: Ooh. Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she's in Monica's bedroom, getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. Ooh, look at that, I did know how to tell you.Chandler: Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?Chandler: This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone.Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh no, I am a fabulous mom! I bought my son his first condoms.Chandler: ...And then he burst into flames.

Mrs. Bing: Oh, you watched the show! What'd you think?Chandler: Well, I think you need to come out of your shell just a little.Chandler: Okay, you guys spend waaaay too much time together. Chandler: That would be no. Look, just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom doesn't mean you know her. Alright? Trust me, you can't talk to her.Chandler: Well, I believe the piece of furniture was fine until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delvecchio.Joey: You knew about that?Chandler: Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.Chandler: My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross!

Chandler: That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your... nipular areasChandler: No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies.Ross: You what? Wh what were you doing seeing her boobies?Chandler: It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.Rachel: Okay, okay, could we change the subject, please?Phoebe: Yeah, 'cause hello, these are not her boobies, these are her breasts.Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change.Chandler: Y'know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed, they were very nice boobies.Rachel: Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.Chandler: Okaaay, (Gestures) rock, hard place, me.Chandler: Oh look, it's the woman we ordered.Chandler: Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys.Chandler: C'mon, I'll show you to my room. ...That sounds so weird when it's not followed by "No thanks, it's late." Chandler: Sorry, my my thing was in there with me.Chandler: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom.

Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbian—I don't think we need a third...

Chandler: It's OK. It's OK. I was always rooting for you two kids to get together.Chandler: Hey Mr. Kostelic! How's life on the fifteenth floor? Yeah, I miss you too. Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know? Well, that's very generous er, but look, this isn't about the money. I need something that's more than a job. I need something I can really care about.... And that's on top of the yearly bonus structure you mentioned earlier? Look, Al, Al... I'm not playing hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this is a rejection! No! No! No, stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! (Listens) I'll see you on Monday! Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?Joey: Yeah.Chandler: Let’s not do that any more.Ross: Oh, Pheebs, I’m sorry, I’ve got to go. I’ve got Lamaze class.Chandler: Oh, and I’ve got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in Gym.Chandler: (Looking out at the balcony) So tell me something, is leaving the Christmas lights up part of your plan to keep us merry all year long?Chandler: You know, once you’re inside, you don’t have to knock any more.Ross: Aw, how can you say that? I can’t even get Marcel to stop eating the bath mat. How am I gonna raise a kid?Chandler: You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying that, that monkeys and babies are actually different.

Joey: Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it real expensive?Chandler: Well, only if you order stuff.Chandler: Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be staring' at the business end of a hissy fit.Ross: No, it's not just that. It's just—I want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)Chandler: ...little playthings with yarn?Ross: What?Chandler: Could you want her more?Ross: Who?Chandler: (sarcastically) Dee, the sarcastic sister from What’s Happening.Chandler: Rach, Rach, we gotta settle.Rachel: Settle what?Chandler: The... Jamestown colony of Virginia. You see, King George is giving us the land, so...Chandler: Oh, did you get that from the 'I Love Rachel' pizzeria?Rachel: Guys! Guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what!Chandler: Um, ok... the... the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?Chandler: Hey, that's... that's 'joincidence' with a 'C'!

Chandler: Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.Joey: Her answer machine?Chandler: No, interestingly enough her leaf blower picked up.Phoebe: So, uh, why didn't you say anything?Chandler: Oh, no-no-no-no. Last time I left a spontaneous message ended up using the phrase "Yes indeedy-o."Chandler: Y'don't think that makes me seem a little...Ross: ...desperate, needy, pathetic?Chandler: Ah, you obviously saw my personal adPhoebe: How many beeps?Chandler: She answered.Monica: Y'see, this is where you'd use that 'hello' word we talked about.Chandler: I'm not gonna talk to her, she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. God, I miss just being needy.Monica: Don't you have to pee?Chandler: 'S'why I'm dancing...Chandler: Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that?Chandler: How about Joey... Pepponi?Joey: No, still too ethnic. My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral.Chandler: Joey... Switzerland?Joey: Did you call the cops?Rachel: Nope. We took her to lunch.Chandler: Ah. Your own brand of vigilante justice.Ross: Yeah, which she probably stole from some cheerleader.Chandler: ...Take off their hats!Phoebe: Popes in a Volkswagen! ...I love that joke.

Monica: Look at you, you won't even look at him.Chandler: Oh, come on tell me. I could use another reason why women won't look at me.Chandler: More importantly, was I any good?Rachel: Well, you were pretty damn good.Chandler: Interesting, cause in my dreams, I'm always surprisingly inadequate.Chandler: You're okay there?Ross: I can't believe you two had sex in her dream.Chandler: I'm sorry, it was a one-time-thing. I was very drunk and i was somebody else's subconscious.Phoebe: I could be a secretary.Chandler: Well, you know Phoebs. I don't know if it's your kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal. For a large portion of the day.Ross: No, it's for when Carol goes into labor. She can get me wherever I am. I mean, all she has to do is to dial 55-JIMBO.Chandler: A cool phone number, and a possible name for the kid.Monica: He's... our age.Chandler: When we were?Chandler: Can you hear that?Phoebe: Yeah?Chandler: See that'll stop when you pick up the phone.Chandler: Okay, I don't sound like that. That is so not true.Chandler: That is so not... That is so not... That... Oh, shut up!Chandler: Oh, why not. Was I doing anything particularly... saucy?Monica: No. You know, sometimes just things doesn't work out.Chandler: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym.

Monica: Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby?Joey: I'm gonna be in the waitin' room, handing out cigars.Chandler: Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the 50's.Monica: I want a baby.Chandler: Mmmm. Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow.Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?Chandler: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.Monica: Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?Chandler: No, no, no.Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?Chandler: (trapped) Uh, uh.Monica: Well?Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack!Chandler: Somebody wanna help me, tryin' to rip out my heart. Uh, that's great. Anybody seen a nipple?Rachel: Pardon?Chandler: Nothing, just a little extra air in my mouth. Pffft. Pffffffft. Joey: Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back.Chandler: Oh, yeah, right, OK... including the waffles last week, you now owe me... 17 jillion dollars.

Chandler: Men are here.Joey: We make fire. Cook meat.Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing, no get invited back.Joey: He's right, man. Please. Move on. Go to China. Eat Chinese food.Chandler: Course there, they just call it food.Phoebe: Nuh-uh. I don't think any of our lives are ever gonna be the same ever again.Chandler: OK, is there a mute button on this woman?Joey: Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed?Chandler: The fact that you'd even ask that question shows how little you know me.

okay, 第一季差不多就这么多了，欢迎补充......