周家二宝猪的个人资料

哈哈

背影都是这么可爱

洗个澡，邀请我一起玩的狗子。

小jiojio

美美哒

小可爱

又是可爱的一天

2018 小说记录挣宠大过年看的只能用-.- 表示了为 2018 小说记录挣宠大过年看的只能用-.- 表示了为了虐而虐吐槽点太多算了就这样吧

周宝猪家5年前，养了一只出生于2013年1月1日的公贵宾，为它取名为宝猪。

台电430+ 黑屏无法开机插电脑没任何反应无缘无故就坏了有高手可以解决一下吗

小说日记《爱别离》BY宛如轮回~~

有人转回杭州或来回包车的吗？宁波去杭州晚上没火车回来的！求助。。。。。。。大家帮我想个好办法回来哦！

【每日一笑】An Unsuccessful Lie An Unsuccessful LieThe phone rang, and the teacher answered it, saying,"Hello, may I help you?"A voice said from the other end, "Is this Mr. Hsieh? I wouldlike to inform you that Tony cannot come to school today."The teacher asked, "Who is this, please?""This is my father speaking, of course," came the answer.露出破绽有一位老师的电话响了，他拿起来问：「喂！请问找谁？」对方说：「您是不是谢老师？我想告诉您，今天汤尼没办法上学。」然后那个老师说：「那请问你是谁呀？」对方回答说：「这个就是我的爸爸讲的！」

【每日一笑】It’s Safe to Come Home Now A lady came to report to the police that her husband had disappeared. So the officer looked at the man’s photograph, questioned the woman for a few minutes andthen asked whether she wanted to give her husband any first message if they found him. The wife said, “Yes, yes! Please tell him don’t worry! My mother didn’t come!” 因惧失踪　一位女士去报警说她的老公失踪了。警察看了她先生的照片，并询问了一会儿，接着问她：假如他们找到她先生的话，有没有重要的口信要转达给他？她说：「是的！请告诉他不要担心，我妈妈没来！」

【每日一笑】Your Cat Might Be Trying to Call At the police department, the phone rang. “Hallo, hallo!” the policeman answered. “I’ve lost my cat!” And the policeman said, “I’m sorry, sir, that’s not the job of the police. We’re too busy!” The person said, “But you don’t understand. This is a veryintelligent cat! He’s almost human; he can practically talk!”So the policeman said, “Then you’d better hang up. He might be trying to call you!”反将一军　警察局的电话响了，警察接起电话说：「喂！喂！」「我的猫不见了！」警察说：「先生，很抱歉！这不是警察的职责，我们太忙了！」对方说：「但是你不了解，这是一只很聪明的猫，他几乎像人一样可以说话！」于是警察说道：「那你最好挂断电话，他可能正试着打电话给你！」

【每日一笑】A Family Tradition Two madmen were talking in the mental hospital, and one said, "I have decided to give my sister toyou in marriage once we are out of here." The other man said, "No, thank you. It cannot be so."He asked, "Why?" The man answered, "Because,according to our family tradition only relatives getmarried. We cannot marry an outsider." The other man asked, "How come there is such a family custom?" He said, "You see, my grandmother married my grandfather. My mother married my father, my sister married my brother-in-law, and so on. How can I marry your sister?" 家庭传统有两个疯子在神经病医院里面互相聊天，一个说：「等出院了以后，我决定会把我妹妹嫁给你。」另外一个说：「多谢啦！这个不行哪！」「为什么不行呢？」「因为我的家庭的传统都是亲戚才能够结婚的，不能跟外人结婚。」「怎么会有这种家族的风俗呢？」他说：「你看，我的外婆跟我的外公结婚，我妈妈跟我爸爸结婚，我姐姐跟我姐夫结婚，我怎么能够跟你的妹妹结婚？

【每日一笑】Emergency Room Surprise A man went into a dangerous place, where there were nails and stones everywhere. So he took his shoes off, hung themup and walked all over the area. Then he got injured and began to bleed from his ankles and feet. So he had to go tothe hospital for treatment, and the doctor said, "My God!Didn't you wear any shoes?" And the man said, "Yes, but I took them off." So the doctor said, "Are you crazy? Why didn't you wear your shoes?" And the patient said, "Are you crazy? Look at my feet! If I had had my shoes on, what would have become of them?"★ 急诊室怪谭有一个人到一处很危险的地方，遍地都是钉子和石头，他却把鞋子脱掉，拿在手上，到处走来走去，结果受了伤，脚踝和脚底都流血，只好到医院去治疗。医生看了说：「天啊！你没穿鞋子吗？」那个人说：「有啊，不过我把鞋子脱下来。」医生说：「你疯了啊？为什麽不穿鞋子呢？」那个受伤的人说：「你才疯了呢！你看我的脚，如果我穿鞋的话，鞋子会变成什麽样子啊？」

【每日一笑】 I’m Really Coming! A new preacher had just begun his sermon andhe was a little nervous so about ten minutes into the talk his mind went blank. He then remembered what they had taught him in seminary to do in such a situation: Repeat thelast statement he made to remind himself of what to say next. So he thought he would give it a try and repeated his last statement, saying, “Behold, I’m coming. I’m coming quickly.?But his mind was still blank so he tried again and said, “Behold, I’m coming quickly!?But still nothing happened so he tried again, this time with such force that he fell forward, knocking the pulpit to one side, tripping over a flower pot and falling into the lap of a little old lady in the front row. So the young preacher apologized and tried to explain what had happened but the old woman said, “Oh, that’sall right young man; that’s all right. It was myfault! I should have gotten out of the way especially after you told me three times that you were coming!? 我「真的」要来了！一位新的传教士刚开始布道，有点紧张，讲了约十分钟之后，他的脑子一片空白。他想起在神学院里有教过，遇到这种情形时，可以重复刚才讲的最后一句，提醒自己接下来要说什么。他想试试看，于是他重复上一句：「看哪！我要来了，我就快来了！」但是他的脑子还是一片空白，所以他再试了一次：「看哪！我就快来了！」还是毫无效果。他又再试了一次，这次他因为太用力了，竟然往前跌了下去，把讲坛撞到一边，又被花盆绊倒，最后跌到前排一位老太太的腿上。这位年轻的传教士赶紧道歉，想解释刚才是怎么回事。但老妇人说：「喔，没关系，年轻人！不要紧！这是我的错，我应该让路的，更何况你已经告诉我三次你要来了！」

【每日一笑】Why Doctors Wear Masks Once a small child asked his father, "Father, why do doctors always have to wear masks in the operating room?" And the father replied, "In case something goes wrong, no one will know who they are." 医生为什么戴口罩？小孩问他的父亲：‘爸爸，为什么医生在手术房里面都要戴口罩？’父亲说：‘怕万一发生什么事的话，就没有人知道他们是谁！’

【每日一笑】What an Excellent Doctor! What an Excellent Doctor!A patient went to see a doctor for his problem, and thedoctor gave him a seven-day supply of medicine. The patient took the medicine and died. So his parents became very angry and went to complain to the doctor, and the doctor asked them, "How many days did your son take the medicine?" They answered, "Three days!" The doctor then said, "You see, you see, I gave him a seven-day supply of medicineand he took it for only three days. That's why he died." 超级郎中！有个病患去看医生，医生给他开了七天的药，他服药以后就死了，他的父母非常生气就去找医生抱怨，医生反问他们说：‘你儿子服了几天的药？’他们回答说：‘三天！’医生说：‘你看！你看！我给他开了七天的药量，而他只服了三天，难怪他死掉！

【每日一笑】Insomnia Insomnia A man goes to see a doctor and says to him, "I cannot sleep every night because my neighbor upstairs makes so much loud noise. He lets me get no sleep at all." The doctor says, "Oh, no problem! It's easy! I'll give you something, and you'll have a good sleep." The next day, the man goes to see the doctor again and complains, "I have taken the pills but still cannot sleep."The doctor says, "Oh, my God! They were earplugs for your ears!" 失眠症有一个人去看医生，他说：‘我每天晚上都失眠，因为我楼上邻居吵得我无法入睡。’医生说：‘没问题！这很容易，我给你一点东西，你就会睡得很好。’隔天，病人又去看医生，并抱怨：‘ 我服用了那些药丸，还是没办法睡觉。’医生说：‘天啊！我给你的是耳塞，是要你塞耳朵用的呀！’

【每日一笑】 I knew that! I knew that!There were two men who went out to eat together. They ordered fish. So on the table there were two fish. Normally not all the fish are alike in size, so there was one small, and one big. The first man just took the big one for himself without asking and feeling ashamed, or anything; and ate it. The other friend felt very disturbed and annoyed, he didn't know what to say. So he thought for a while, and then he said," If it were me," I would have taken the smaller onefirst." So the other guy said," See! I knew that! That's why I took the big one." 我就知道有两个人一起出去吃饭，结果点了两条鱼，不久之后，鱼就上桌了，但是通常鱼的大小都不太一样，所以送来的鱼也是一条大一条小。结果第一个人问也不问，就把比较大的那条鱼夹起来吃，一点都没有不好意思的样子。另一个人看了心里很不高兴，但是也不知道该说什么才好。他想了一会儿，终于开口说：「如果是我的话，我一定会先拿那条小鱼。」另一个人就接口说：「看吧！我就知道，所以我刚刚才拿大鱼。」

【每日一笑】 Just as old Just as old One old person complained to the doctor that hisright ear was giving him trouble; he couldn't hear.So the doctor checked, checked, checked, listened, listened and said, "Oh, you know your ear trouble isan old age problem? Your ear is getting old, that's all.That's why you can't hear."So the patient said, "Nonsense, the left ear is just as old. 一样老有个老人向医生抱怨右耳有问题，听不见。医生检查又检查、听了又听，然后说：「哦！你知道吗？你耳朵有毛病是因为年老的关系，你的右耳已经老化了，所以才听不到。」病人说：「胡说！我的左耳也一样老呀！」

【每日一笑】 An Important Innovation An Important Innovation A teacher asked, “Willy, can you tell me one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago?” And Willy said, “Me!” ♥★重大转变老师问威利：「你告诉我，哪个重要的东西是今天有但十年前没有的？」威利说：「我呀！」♥

【每日一笑】An Inherited Health Benefit An Inherited Health Benefit )A stranger once burst into a doctor’s office and said, “Good morning doctor! I just dropped in to tell youhow much I benefited from your treatment!” And the doctor replied, “But you aren’t one of mypatients. I didn’t treat you!” So the stranger said, “Yes, I know, but my uncle Bill was your patientand I inherited all of his possessions!” ♥★连带受益　有一个陌生人冲进医生的办公室，说：「早安，医生！我来是要告诉你，你的医术使我受益匪浅！」医生说：「可是你不是我的病人啊，我没帮你看过病！」陌生人说：「没错！不过我叔叔比尔是你的病人，他的遗产现在全都归我所有了！」♥

【每日一笑】 An Unwelcome Honor An Unwelcome HonorA doctor came into the hospital ward and said to Mr. Johnson,"I have some good news and some bad news for you." Then Mr. Johnson said, "Please, give me the good news first." So the doctor said, "The doctors here are going to name an incurable disease after you."宁可不要的荣耀　　一位医生走进医院的病房，告诉强森先生：「我有一个好消息和一个坏消息要告诉你。」强森先生说：「请先告诉我好消息吧！」医生说：「本院的医师决定用你的名字，来为一种不治之症命名。」

【每日一笑】 Publish or Perish! Publish or Perish!Two friends were talking together, and one asked the other, "What have you been doing lately?" And the other friend said, "Since last year I've taken up writing full time." So the first friend said,"Oh, really, writing full time? Have you sold anything so far?"And the other friend said, "Yes. I've sold my car and I've sold my house."「畅销」作家两个朋友聚在一起闲聊，其中一个问道：「你最近都在做些什么？」另一个回答：「从去年开始，我就专职写作。」第一个又问：「喔！专职写作，真的吗？那到目前为止，你卖了多少呢？」另一个回答：「有啊！我卖了车子，房子也卖了！」

【每日一笑】 Way to Keep Away Flies The Way to Keep Away FliesThere was a customer who came and asked a waiter in a cafeteria:"Oh, tell me, Susan, how do you keep all the flies out of your coffee shop?"So she said: "I just let the flies taste the stuff." 驱蝇妙招有位客人问餐厅的服务生：「苏珊，你们店里都没有苍蝇，你是怎么做到的？」苏珊回答说：「我只是让苍蝇先试吃我们的东西。」

【每日一笑】 Early Big Shopping Early Big ShoppingAn offender was brought to trial before a judge. The judge asked him, "What is the crime you have committed?" The offender said, "I went shopping too early during the New Year." The judge said, "This is not a crime! Is there a mistake, perhaps? So how early did you go shopping?" He answered, "The shop was not yetopen for business, and I was already inside."提早大抢购有个犯人被带到法官面前审案，法官问他：‘你犯了什么罪？’犯人说：‘因为我在新年时，太早去采购了。’法官说：‘这不是罪呀！可能是弄错吧？那你多早去采购呢？’他说：‘商店还没开门，我就已经进去了。’

【每日一笑】 The Value of a Good Question The Value of a Good Question A man called a lawyer and asked, “How much would you charge me to answer three questions?” The lawyer said, “$400 dollars!” And the man said, “That’s a lot of money, isn’t it?” The lawyer said, “I guess so. What’s your third question?” 律师的咨询费有个人打电话给律师，问道：「你回答三个问题的收费是多少钱？」律师回答说：「四百美元。」这个人说：「这要不少钱，不是吗？」律师回答说：「我想是吧！你的第三个问题是什么？」

【每日一笑】 Do What You Can Do What You CanIn a courtroom, the judge sentenced a criminal to thirty years in prison and theprisoner said, "But Sir, I won’t live that long!" So the judge replied, "Don't worry; just do what you can!" ♥尽力而为就好在法庭上，法官宣判某个罪犯要服三十年徒刑。犯人说：「不过庭上，我活不了那么久啊！」法官说：「别担心！你尽力而为就好。」♥

【每日一笑】Please Reverse the Charges! Please Reverse the Charges!Originally in EnglishThere was a lady who took a taxi home, and when thetaxi driver approached her house she told him to stop,saying, "Okay, here, here is good." Then she asked the driver, "How much is it?" And the driver replied, "Ten dollars." Then, after searching in her purse for a while, she said, "Could you please go back 500 meters? I have only seven dollars on me!" 倒转车资有一位女士搭计程车回家，当抵达家门口时，她告诉司机：「好，就停在这里。」然后她问：「多少钱？」司机回答：「十块钱。」她翻了翻皮包之后说：「可不可以请你把车子再倒回去五百公尺，因为我只有七块钱！」

【每日一笑】A Pair of Socks Each Day A Pair of Socks Each Day Originally in ChineseOne morning, a boy named Tony was getting dressed in his bedroompreparing to go to school. His mother called out from the living room, "Remember to put on a pair of new socks!" Tony answered, "Yes, mom, I will put on a pair of new socks." His mother emphasized, "I mean that you should wear a new pair of socks every day!" Tony again answered,"Yes, mom, I will put on a new pair of socks every day."A week later, he came out of the bedroom and said to his mother, "Mom,I cannot get my feet into my shoes anymore."每日一袜早晨，汤尼穿好衣服要上学时，他妈妈从客厅对着卧室跟他说：‘记得要穿一双新袜子喔！’汤尼说：‘好的，妈咪，我会穿一双新袜子。’然后他妈妈又说：‘我是说每天要穿一双新袜子喔！’汤尼回答：‘好的，妈咪，我每天会穿一双新袜子。’一个礼拜以后，他从卧室走出来跟妈妈说：‘妈咪，我的脚再也塞不进鞋子里了！’

【每日一笑】Help! Doctor! Help! Doctor!Help! Doctor! Please come quickly!"My ten-year-old son has just swallowed a pen!""Ok , I'll be right there. I'll be there in 10 to 20 minutes.""Good,but....what am I supposed to do in the meantime?""Just use another pen!"急诊“唉！医生！你赶快来！我那个十岁的小孩刚刚吞下去一支笔！”“喔！我马上过去，大概十分钟或二十分钟就会到了！”“是，不过在.....在这个中间我该怎么办呢？”“用别的笔嘛！”

【每日一笑】Good News and Bad News Good News and Bad News The soldiers had been marching and fighting, they were dirty, hot and 　　tired. One day, the general announced: "My men, I have some good news 　　and some bad news for you. Which one would you like first?"　　　"The good news!" they all shouted.　　　"OK," said the General. "The good news is that you will each be receiving　　a complete change of clothing." 　　　"Hurrah!" chorused the soldiers.　　　"And now for the bad news. Jack, you will change with John. John, you 　　will change with Tom. Tom, you will change with Robert. Robert .... 好消息和坏消息　　　士兵们连续的行军，作战，他们又累又热又脏。一天，将军宣布：　 “士兵们，我有一些好消息和坏消息要告诉你们。你们愿意先听哪个呢？”　　　“好消息！”他们嚷道。　　　“好吧，”将军说，“好消息就是你们每个人都可以彻底的换一身　　衣服。” 　　　“乌拉！”士兵们高兴地大叫起来。　　　“现在呢，该是坏消息了。杰克，你将和约翰换衣服，约翰，你和汤姆　　换，汤姆，你和罗伯特换，罗伯特……”

【每日一笑】 No Wonder They Put Her Out No Wonder They Put Her Out Jenny, (looking at the crying new baby): Has she just come from　　　　　　heaven?　　　Mother: Yes. 　　　Jenny: Well, it's no wonder they put her out. 肯定是他们把她赶出来的　　　（看着不断的哭着的刚出生的婴儿）詹妮问：她是刚从天堂里来吗？　　　妈妈：是的。　　　詹妮：嗯，那不用问肯定是他们把她赶出来的。

【每日一笑】A letter A letter The nervous mother was worried because she hadn't heard from her son who was away at boarding school. Eventually, however, she received a letter which read:" Dear Mother: They are making us write to our parents. Love, Jack."　　　　　　　　　　　　　　一封信　　　一位紧张的母亲特别着急，因为她还没有收到她住寄宿学校的儿子　　的信。最后，不管怎样，她总算收到了一封信，上面写道：亲爱的妈妈：　　他们正在让我们给我们的父母写信。爱你的杰克。”

对吧里的诡异的气氛，感到迷惑。。突然说起走还是留本来就无所谓的走和留这么大的一个互连网大家点点哪都去了一天去一个吧和去3 5 个吧其实没区别的为什么会把这问题说的这么重这么严肃呢。。。。以上是个人意见噶

【每日一笑】 Doctor and Patient Doctor and PatientDoctor: How many ears and eyes does a cat have? Patient: Two of each. Doctor: And how many legs does it have? Patient: Say, Doctor, haven't you ever seen a cat?医生和病人医生：一只猫有几个耳朵和眼睛？病人：都是两个。医生：那么它有几条腿呢？病人：我说，医生，难道你从来没有见过猫吗？

................. .....加油!~

................ .....加油!~

刷黑黑.............. 刷黑黑守护春吧~！

【每日一笑】You're facing the wrong way. You're facing the wrong way. In a cinema, a lady turned round and said to the giggling schoolgirls 　　behind her: "Do you mind, I'm trying to watch the film." 　　　 "In that case," said one of them, "you're facing the wrong way." 　　　　　　　　　　　　你看错方向了　　　剧院里，一位女士回头对后面正在说笑的一群女学生说：“如果你　　们不介意的话，我想看这场电影。” 　　　“要是那样的话，”其中一个女孩子说，“那您肯定是看错方向了。”

【每日一笑】Do I have any other choice One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?" Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?" 一天,夏娃问亚当:"你当真爱我吗?" 亚当无可奈何地回答:"我还有的选择吗?"

黑黑是动物。只会用屁股。。

黑黑是动物

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