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I'm the michael ballack of love. Each time i make it to a final and am on the verge of hanging out for good with a girl, i just somehow manage to blow it all up. Not long ago I had 3 of the most beautiful women in Paris after me. One last effort and either was mine. But I let all 3 slip. Like Michael Ballack in 2003 when he was top of the german league and through to the german cup and the champions league's finals. He was unprepared, went in for all three and all eluded him. The lesson he learnt and that I should have taken a leaf out of was to focus on one goal, as flowing with all 3 will be at a loss in the end. Even focusing solely on the Champions league final against Zidane's madrid perhaps would have not proved fruitful. Never aiming for the highest of the 3, but rather the second best. In his case the German cup final, was the way to go. it's the one that was most loving after all, since Bayer had already won it in 1993, while zero domestic and european silverware are to be added to that tally.

Not long ago i was after this beauty. One day she looked straight at me and I couldn't move my legs. I said to myself, next time i'll jump on her. But the following week it was her best friend the only present, ditto the week after, and also the week after that. Heck, the one i love got fed up and relinquished me, leaving her best friend to fill the gap. I'm not interested, I thought! and shunned her friend. It would seem the said friend was there to chat a bit and introduce me to the girl i loved smoothly. When I realized that I felt like Inzaghi, when he cuts in with the ball afeet and chooses to shoot from distance instead of giving it to his team-mate in the box. The shot rattled the crossbar in my case, as I almost managed to make up with the beauty without the help of her friend. Almost. And you know the look on the face of your team mate when you shot instead of passing it to him. It was one of these her best friend threw at me the last time I crossed her path at school.


You know what peterstorey says.. when you love someone, that person can take a dump with the door open and you'll still be at her feet.. conversely when someone loves you, all your wobblings and stutters will come across as cute instead of retarded. I think Cupid looks a bit like Tom Henning Ovrebo, that norwegian chap. When he decides you won't make it through, there's nothing you can do, just leave it! leave it now! all your positive actions will hike up your frustration. When he's by your side though..


My mate is irksome. all the girls are after him but he's too shy and somehoww dodges all their connection attempts. However he always convinces himself he's down on the ground after whatever approach he attempts.. "it's over, i blowed it all up" or "i just cant believe i fxxked this one up, she's probably fed up of me now" while they are still chasing him, looking to lay him down. I hate guys who go on the ground all alone when nobody's actually brought them down. Yep, my mate is Didier Drogba.


Thierry Henry at Arsenal.. can it get any more tale telling as to how some people break long-term relationships? "you know i'll never forget you.. forever in my heart".."i'll be loaning a box in the future so that i can come back from time to time and cheer you up" get over it mate, you fxxked off, Arsenal doesn't give a toss about you anymore. Hope you didn't take the jeers too kindly when you first touched the ball after replacing Messi at the Emirates.. It's just we can't stand your new fiance that gives raging boners to anyone having a sneaky glance.


Have you ever seen a goal after a long throw? People that have been kicked out but try endlessly to get in your box with some outrageously gross throws.. "are you afraid of happiness?" "just take me now, i'm the only one who ever loved you as much as I ever loved you" fxxck off, yes? Try and build a patient attack instead of drying the ball with the towel and throwing it like a sausage. That Rory Delap bloke doesn't even know what candle-lit meals, silk stockings packed in carmin ribbons and french kiss mean.
A friend of mine was after that bird for like, 45 years. He'd just never give her up, even when she was clearly in a relationship with some one else or told him to fxxk off. With her he was simply the gift that kept giving, it was cringe-worthy the way he would whore himself in her presence. He ended up marrying her. Needless to say he's German.
Guys like Arjen Robben are perfectly unbearable to me. I just can't fathom how fugly blokes like him always get the most astonishing birds, the type I'd dream of playing in. I mean, just look : Chelsea, Real Madrid, Bayern Munich. I guess his secret is he doesn't give a shit about any of them..