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Who has seen the wind?
Neither you nor I:
But when the trees bow down their heads.
The wind is passing by.
-Christina Rossetti
2. TIME AND FORGIVENESS
Tim is off on a search to rescue the Princess. She has been
snatched by a horrible and evil monster.
This happened because Tim made a mistake.
Not just one. He made many mistakes during the time they
spent together, all those years ago. Memories of their
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relationship have become muddled, replaced wholesale, but
one remains clear: the Princess turning sharply away, her
braid lashing at him with contempt.
He knows she tried to be forgiving, but who can just shrug
away a guilty lie, a stab in the back? Such a mistake will
change a relationship irreversibly, even if we have learned
from the mistake and would never repeat it. The Princess's
eyes grew narrower. She became more distant.
Our World, with its rules of causality, has trained us to be
miserly with forgiveness. By forgiving too readily, we can be
badly hurt. But if we've learned from a mistake and become
better for it, shouldn't we be rewarded for the learning, rather
than punished for the mistake?
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What if our world worked differently? Suppose we could tell
her: "I didn't mean what I just said," and she would say: "It's
okay, I understand," and she would not turn away, and life
would really proceed as though we had never said that thing?
We could remove the damage but still be wiser for the
experience.
Tim and Princess lounge in the castle garden, laughing
together, giving names to the colorful birds. Their mistakes
are hidden from each other, tucked away between the folds of
time, safe.
3. TIME AND MISTERY
All those years ago, Tim had left the Princess behind. He had
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kissed her on the neck, picked up his travel bag, and walked out
the door. He regrets this, to a degree. Now he's journeying to
find her again, to show he knows how sad it was, but also to tell
her how it was good.
For a long time, he thought they had been cultivating the
perfect relationship. He has been fiercely protective, reversing
all his mistakes so they would not touch her. Likewise, keeping
a tight rein on her own mistakes, she always pleased him.
But to be fully couched within the comfort of a friend is a mode
of existence with severe implications. To please you perfectly,
she must understand you perfectly. Thus you cannot defy her
expectations or escape her reach. Her benevolence has
circumscribed you, and your life's achievements will not reach
beyond the map she has drawn.
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Tim needed to be non-manipulable. He needed a hope of
transcendence. He needed, sometimes, to be immune to the
Princess's caring touch.
Off in the distance, Tim saw a castle where the flags flutter
even when the wind has expired, and the bread in the kitchen is
always warm. A little bit of magic.
4. TIME AND PLACE
Visiting his parents' home for a holiday meal, Tim felt as
though he had regressed to those long-ago years when he
lived under their roof, oppressed by their insistence on
upholding strange values which, to him, were meaningless.
Back then, bickering would erupt over drops of gravy spilt
onto the tablecloth.
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Escaping, Tim walked in the cool air toward the university
he'd attended after moving out of his parents' home. As he
distanced himself from that troubling house, he felt the
embarrassment of childhood fading into the past. But now
he stepped into all the insecurities he'd felt at the university,
all the panic of walking a social tightrope.
Tim only felt relieved after the whole visit was over, sitting
back home in the present, steeped in contrast: he saw how
he'd improved so much from those old days.
This improvement, day by day, takes him ever-closer to
finding the Princess. If she exists --she must!-- she will
transform him, and everyone.
He felt on his trip that every place stirs up an emotion, and
every emotion invokes a memory: a time and a location. So
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couldn't he find the Princess now, tonight, just by
wandering from place to place and noticing how he feels? A
trail of feelings, of awe and inspiration, should lead him to
that castle: in the future: her arms enclosing him, her scent
fills him with excitement, creates a moment so strong he can
remember it in the past.
Immediately Tim walked out his door, the next morning,
toward whatever the new day held. He felt something like
optimism.
5. TIME AND DECISION
She never understood the impulses that drove him, never
quite felt the intensity that, over time, chiseled lines into his
face. She was never quite close enough to him--but he held
her as though she were, whispered into her ear words that
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only a soul mate should receive.
Over the remnants of dinner, they both knew the time had
come. He would have said: "I have to go find the Princess,"
but he didn't need to. Giving a final kiss, hoisting a travel
bag to his shoulder, he walked out the door.
Through all the nights that followed, she still loved him as
though he had stayed, to comfort her and protect her,
Princess be damned.
6. HESITANCE
Perhaps in a perfect world, the ring would be a symbol of
happiness. It's a sign of ceaseless devotion: even if he will
never find the Princess, he will always be trying. He still will
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wear the ring.
But the ring makes its presence known. It shines out to
others like a beacon of warning. It makes people slow to
approach. Suspicion, distrust. Interactions are torpedoed
before Tim can open his mouth.
In time he learns to deal with others carefully. He matches
their hesitant pace, tracing a soft path through their
defenses. But this exhausts him, and it only works to a
limited degree. It doesn't get him what he needs.
Tim begins to hide the ring in his pocket. But he can hardly
bear it--too long tucked away, that part of him might suffocate.
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