level 1
落叶思桐
楼主
Losingthe “Us”
When an emotional injury takes place,
The body begins a process
As natural as the healing
of a physical wound.
Let the process happen.
Trust that nature
will do the healing.
Know that the pain will pass,
and, when it passes,
you will be stronger,
happier, more sensitive and aware.
“So does this mean you want to break up?” Iasked softly, hoping my question would go unanswered. That is how it all began,or I guess, ended. The months the two of us had shared were some of thehappiest, hardest and most educational months I ever experienced. It seemedimpossible that this was the last conversation we would have as Ben and I, thecouple.
I had ignored the fact that the majority ofhigh-school relationships do not last. I guess, in the back of my mind, Ialways thought that Ben was the only boy I would ever have these feelings for,that he was the only boy who would ever understand me. I never took intoaccount that the last month of our relationship was one of the hardest times Ihad ever gone through. It just stopped being fun. It stopped being about us andstarted to be about everything that surrounded him and me.
The next day at school I tried lookinggreat to make him see what he had given up. I even tried to talk to him like myheart wasn’t aching, like I was better off and even happier. But inside Ilooked at him and could only see all the love and time I had given and all thehurt I had received. I walked around school in a complete daze and cried myselfto sleep every night. He was the only thing I thought about, dreamt about andtalked about. I drove my friends crazy by constantly analyzing the situation.How could it have ended? I found my other half when I was with him. I felt likesomething had been torn from me, like I was no longer whole.
One night, I couldn’t stand it. I gave upand called him. I didn’t last five minutes before I broke down and startedcrying. I told him I had forgotten how to be by myself, and that I needed him.I didn’t know how to be myself without Ben. We had been through so muchtogether that I could not imagine getting through this on my own. He told methat he would always care for me, but that it had become impossible to love me.
For weeks I couldn’t see him with otherboys without thinking that they were dating. I threw myself at different guys.
I don’t know at exactly what point thingsstarted to change. I began spending time with my friends. I joined clubs andmade after-school plans. I was doing all I could to stay busy.
Slowly I began to have fun by myself,without Ben. Beyond that, I discovered things I liked doing, ways I could be ofhelp. I lent a sympathetic ear to others who were hurting.
I began to smile and, finally, to laughagain. Whole days would pass without a thought of Ben. I would see him atschool and wave. I was not ready to be friends with him. I was still healing.But I know I didn’t cover a big wound with a Band-Aid and forget about it. Ilet the wound heal itself and felt enough pain to know that I had truly caredfor him.
In my rebound stage, I pursued a lot ofguys. Once I healed, they pursued me. The wonderful thing that happened wasthat I learned how to be a whole person, not half a couple. I’m in a newrelationship now, and eventually we will probably break up, and it will behard, and I will cry and feel just as much, if not more, pain. But I had to askmyself if never caring for someone so that I wouldn’t feel that hurt was worthit. I know now that the famous quote is true. “Better to have loved and lostthan never to have loved at all.” Because no matter what, loving yourself canheal anything.
2009年12月22日 15点12分
1
When an emotional injury takes place,
The body begins a process
As natural as the healing
of a physical wound.
Let the process happen.
Trust that nature
will do the healing.
Know that the pain will pass,
and, when it passes,
you will be stronger,
happier, more sensitive and aware.
“So does this mean you want to break up?” Iasked softly, hoping my question would go unanswered. That is how it all began,or I guess, ended. The months the two of us had shared were some of thehappiest, hardest and most educational months I ever experienced. It seemedimpossible that this was the last conversation we would have as Ben and I, thecouple.
I had ignored the fact that the majority ofhigh-school relationships do not last. I guess, in the back of my mind, Ialways thought that Ben was the only boy I would ever have these feelings for,that he was the only boy who would ever understand me. I never took intoaccount that the last month of our relationship was one of the hardest times Ihad ever gone through. It just stopped being fun. It stopped being about us andstarted to be about everything that surrounded him and me.
The next day at school I tried lookinggreat to make him see what he had given up. I even tried to talk to him like myheart wasn’t aching, like I was better off and even happier. But inside Ilooked at him and could only see all the love and time I had given and all thehurt I had received. I walked around school in a complete daze and cried myselfto sleep every night. He was the only thing I thought about, dreamt about andtalked about. I drove my friends crazy by constantly analyzing the situation.How could it have ended? I found my other half when I was with him. I felt likesomething had been torn from me, like I was no longer whole.
One night, I couldn’t stand it. I gave upand called him. I didn’t last five minutes before I broke down and startedcrying. I told him I had forgotten how to be by myself, and that I needed him.I didn’t know how to be myself without Ben. We had been through so muchtogether that I could not imagine getting through this on my own. He told methat he would always care for me, but that it had become impossible to love me.
For weeks I couldn’t see him with otherboys without thinking that they were dating. I threw myself at different guys.
I don’t know at exactly what point thingsstarted to change. I began spending time with my friends. I joined clubs andmade after-school plans. I was doing all I could to stay busy.
Slowly I began to have fun by myself,without Ben. Beyond that, I discovered things I liked doing, ways I could be ofhelp. I lent a sympathetic ear to others who were hurting.
I began to smile and, finally, to laughagain. Whole days would pass without a thought of Ben. I would see him atschool and wave. I was not ready to be friends with him. I was still healing.But I know I didn’t cover a big wound with a Band-Aid and forget about it. Ilet the wound heal itself and felt enough pain to know that I had truly caredfor him.
In my rebound stage, I pursued a lot ofguys. Once I healed, they pursued me. The wonderful thing that happened wasthat I learned how to be a whole person, not half a couple. I’m in a newrelationship now, and eventually we will probably break up, and it will behard, and I will cry and feel just as much, if not more, pain. But I had to askmyself if never caring for someone so that I wouldn’t feel that hurt was worthit. I know now that the famous quote is true. “Better to have loved and lostthan never to have loved at all.” Because no matter what, loving yourself canheal anything.