[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?(They all stare, bemused.)Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.[Time Lapse]Chandler: Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there.Joey: Instead of...?Chandler: That's right.Joey: Never had that dream.Phoebe: No.Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me. Monica: And they weren't looking at you before?!Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me![Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]Ross: (mortified) Hi.Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...Chandler: Cookie?Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today. Joey: Ohh.Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.Ross: Thanks.Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)Ross: No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.Monica: No you don't.Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?Ross: Sorry.

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