I am gonna throw up a leg. And then I'm gonna take that leg and I'm gonna beat Scott to death with it.

They are saying that a prescription medication that is supposed to guarantee a strong and sustained erection in all men despite their age or their health is rendered ineffective by me?

That's like trying to use a croissant as a fucking dildo.

It's about self-control. You don't masturbate in the subway, do you, Amy? No, you don't. Do you shit in the street, Amy? No, of cause you don't. Because you've gotten ahold of yourself.

'Can mice levitate, Mike? Can they levitate and fire lasers out of their mouse eyes?'
'No.'
'Well, then we've just asked each other equally ridiculous questions.'

How big is $50 billion? Get it in here in five-dollar bills. I'm gonna climb it and see if I get frostbite.

You know what being an ex-president is like? It’s like being a man’s nipple. People go right by it to jerk off a dick.

And the only reason he hasn’t been dragged naked through the streets and hung upside down from a lamp post with his cock stuffed in his mouth is because he took my advice from time to time.

I think you might want to get yourself a helmet, okay. And a bulletproof vest and an iron jockstrap. Cause you’re gonna get your head shot, your back stabbed, and your nuts danced on.

Seriously, when you pulled pin out, you’re supposed to throw the grenade away. You don’t stick it up your own freakin’ ass.

努力一定会，成功。

台湾一路演唱到现在，报纸媒体给了我很多很好的评价。

If Mohammad Atta had you people booking his travel, he’d still be alive today. Which from his perspective, would be a massive ****-up.