写的挺感人的虽然没什么方法经验墨守的
却出自肺腑的那种
让人很感动
很喜欢
忍不住转了

Preface by saying am currently very happy at this point in my life, on to bigger and better things I was not capable of a few years ago. I type this post from a angle of regret but also wisdom, bettering myself to learn from it and hopefully reinforce that in others.
先说一下，现在生活中的我非常高兴，为之前几年无法去做的重要而有意义的事奋斗着。从忏悔和反思的角度我写下这骗帖子，让我能自己能学到更多的时候也希望能帮助别人。

Today I stumbled on an old song from my childhood and a flood of memories of all five senses overwhelmed me, I subsequently and vividly remember my childhood and my father. If you have seen Master of None on Netflix you can also relate to this a bit.
今天童年的一首歌曲让我挥之不去，就是得记忆中的种种感觉如潮水涌上心头，将我湮灭。一下子记忆中的父亲和童年生动了起来。如果你看过 Netflix的《一无是处》你也会对此有所共鸣。（没看过—__--）

My father worked his ass off in becoming a professional, put his own family on his back and was the trailblazer in his family.
我的父亲整天拼命工作，一直支撑着他自己的家庭，是整个家庭的顶梁柱。

He loved me almost too much and from my point of view it was a bit overbearing. I loved my dad no doubt and he knew that, but I can now clearly recall instances where he asked me to do so many things, simple things - chores, requests, and things I should have done out of my good will.
他实在太过于爱我了，以我的观点来看都有点专横的感觉。我无疑也爱他，他是知道的。但是我现在却清楚地记得他让我去做很多事情，简单的事情——家庭琐事，都是一些出于善意我本该做的事情

Cut this tree
Come with me to the store
Mow the lawn
Go to the movies with me
Come to this store and help me choose "x" out
Help me build this shed
Help me repair "x"
砍掉这棵树
和我去商店
剪草坪
和我一起去看电影
去商店帮我买点XXX
帮我建个棚子
帮我修下XXX

Endless little things in life... that at the time seem trivial. That's what porn does, it makes real life seem trivial and porn out to be the absolute. He put so much stock into his life and therefore my own, paying for my university in full, cooking and cleaning for me when I was younger, trying to make me take part in activities to meet people, organizing my birthday parties, and so forth.
生活中没完没了的小事——这些在那时看来都很麻烦。这都是因为x片，它让我的真是生活看起来非常麻烦而xx片才是完美的。他对他的生活投入如此多的精力，也有我的生活，供我上完大学，在我年轻的时候为我洗衣做饭，尽力想让我多参加些活动见见人，为我班生日聚会等等这些。

Now you might say well all kids are selfish by nature and parents DO for their children. I agree, but it was MY inability to reciprocate - forced or otherwise - that I regret. In my teens and early twenties I would just play games, masturbate to porn, never apply myself - grab food when it was provided and leave. I was failing university before I discovered NoFap, it was also around this time that he passed away.
你也学会说：所有孩子天性都自私，父母要为孩子做的。我同意，但是我却无力回报—强制的或其他—为此我后悔。在我十几岁时候和刚二十时候我只想玩游戏，sy，看片，从不努力，饭来张口。在来到nofap前大学也没好好上，这是这个时候他去世了。

楼主辛苦了

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