刚刚过了新年 ， 我知道我不该去比较 我觉得我走的貌似是错误的方向 并且我又不敢终止这场游戏 。
I don't know how to stop it. I'm feeling so depressed. I just wanted to be away from them but it seems to be so so difficult. What I'm doing now does'n make any sense.
I don't have a talent I shoul'd be away from people

I'm a coward. I don't even want to try. I'm lazy. I have done this before. Nothing has changed since then. WHat should I do to continue. Where shall I go? Anyway I'm totally lost. "i;m a good student" uhhh. who knows. sadeness will devour me. Let me go.
Maybe I just don;t know what's the real pain. Maybe I was just protected so well.
No one would pity me when I was dead.
How shall I destroy all of it, My mind is just so empty.
Others are all colorful. How would I become something like this

Anyway It's just what I deserve. Am I thinking so slow. Uhh nobody cares. Interesting world. Let me drop dead. I am not even brave enough to end myself. I always thought there would be an opportunity for me to become some one I'm not. Indeed, I was totally wrong. I'm what I'm. I'm disgusting and frustrating. Nothing and nobody can change it. Maybe that's my talent, to be the NO. 1 disgusting frustrating loser in the world. Maybe not， I forgot the truth that I can be the best... I'm begging let me go, let me free. Throw me away and leave me alone.