Dearest

I feel certain that I am going mad again.I feel we can't go through another of these terrible time,and I shan't recover this time .I begin to hear voices and can't concentrate.so,I am doing what seems to be the best thing to do.

You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I know that I am spoiling your life,and without me,you could work. And you will, I know.

You see, I can't even write this properly. What I want to say is that I one all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me...and incredibly good. Everything is gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer. I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been.

子学
miss crossing Pacific
After about ten hours flight， it was mid-night when I arrived. I went back where I don't want to return. It's a long way， from airport to home. The driver Father dispatched is still Morris， who drove me to the air port five years ago， it's the time when I got ready to go to Taiwan to take the college entrance examination.Hearing some splatter inside the silent car because car drove across the water pool and splashed water. Seattle still likes to cry， especially this deep in night. Windshield wiper can wipe away the raindrops on the windshield， then what should I use to wipe the teardrops on my face？
I miss you so much， tzu shey， in this moment， in this city.
By milk who miss coffee

unused to
Waked up in early morning， the thermometer on the bedside said 62H. Iam unused to.Mom called Jane to preparing the cereal for me. I am unused to.Drove Mom's car to downtown to buy new CDs， the clerks said that they don't know who is Tanya Tzi. I am unused to.When I went through the Fremont Bridge， it folded in order to let theships of Lake Union pass through. I am unused to.A restaurant filled of Indian decoration and a lunch without chopstick. I am unused to.Dad talks to me in English. I am unused to.Only English entry in computer， wrote down the feeling in English. I am unused to.Because now is July， July's morning shouldn't be 62H， it shouldn't be Fahrenheit， it shouldn't be so cold. I miss Taiwan. Because I dislike cereal， breakfast should be a rice ball， it should be ham egg cake， and it should have coffee milk. I miss Taiwan.The clerks in the record store should know Tanya Tzi， they should know Jay Chow， and they should put more Chinese CDs. I miss Taiwan.The bridge shouldn't be folded to let the ships pass. Taiwan's bridges don't be folded and there is no ship under the bridge. I miss Taiwan. It should use chopstick to have meal， it should be a simple restaurant， it shouldn't have Indian style decoration. I miss Taiwan.The surrounding people talk to me in English， why can't they speak Chinese？ I miss Taiwan. My computer should display Chinese， it should have Chinese entry， and my feeling should be written in Chinese. I miss Taiwan. I am unused to this city， I am unused to the temperature and the look here. I am unused to miss Taiwan so much， I am unused to miss you so much.
By milk who miss coffee

hair becomes longer
It rained again. The seldom good weather continued for a few days but it rained today. Dad asked me to go to his client's place with him. He said that I should take a look because there is the most high-class uptown in Seattle.There is the shore of the Washington Lake. Bill Gates has a house there，too，dad said.Dad parked the car beside the dock.The Washington Lake is so large that makes it look like an ocean and these houses are so big like castles. It is hard to believe that in these castle-like houses and interior design， there are three tenth of them are dad's work. Who had an appointment with dad today was a Canadian businessman. I heard of he is a banker. He asked dad for a design of the castle like the other hosts of these houses. It's my first time worked with dad and it is a fresh feeling. On the way home， dad said that he doesn't want to plan my future. But if I'm interested in building and interior design， he is willing to let me work in his company. I look at my reflection in the car window. It seems that my hair becomes longer. Today is rarely a substantial day but it rained all day. It is rarely a relaxed day but I miss you in this moment.
By milk who miss coffee

your September
Unconsciously,September came. You are so busy in this month， studying， taking exam and your birthday. Does anybody celebrate your birthday？ Does it？ When I asked myself， I really wanted to take a plane to Taiwan and regarded myself as a present for you. Mom took me to the church today. I had not gone to church for years since I went to Taiwan for studying. Sister Marcy was happy to see me. She touched my face and said I had a rosy complexion and became beautiful. I just smiled. God is nearsighted and so is his messenger. Couldn't she really see that I was haggard actually because of miss？ When I walked out of the church， a cold wind blew over my face and I felt so cold. The city's September is already like Taiwan's winter. In your September， it causes my miss extremely. Also， in my November， do you miss me specially？ My birthday is on November 18， do you still remember？ If I wish my birthday present is being your girl friend for one day， will you？
By milk who miss coffee

a city of excess in coffee
When I went to a bookstore in the China Town， I took a Chinese magazine and skimmed it. It said that Seattle is a city of excess in coffee. I smiled and agreed with it from the bottom of my heart. As I put down that magazine， a flavor of coffee struck my nose. Oh， I smell this flavor in the office almost every day. On each street in downtown， there is a coffee shop every five-meter. It seems that if Seattle has no coffee that it would lose its soul of city. It has been about two months since I started to work. Dad said that my performance is pretty steady and I may start to learn more professional subject next year. I don't understand what is more professional subject but I think I will take cell phone with me to the restroom like Sanica from next year. So I start to have at least three cups of coffee everyday like Mike and Lily. They said that since taking on drugs is illegal， let oneself drink coffee to be poisoned. I live in a city of excess in coffee. Coffee is the soul of the city. And you live in my heart. If I am the city， are you the soul of my？
By milk who miss coffee

确定
我答应了Jerry的邀约，陪他一起去San Francisco参加他的首演，不敢相信，他竟然是个小提琴手，看他傻里傻气的。当初在Mr.Banson的墨西哥餐厅里遇见他的时候，只觉得他是个普通男孩子，感觉比不上你的特别呢。就快要二月了，距离决定忘了你的日子，还有三十天。这是我回到西雅图之后的决定，从十一月十八号那天开始计时一百天，我要忘了你。你有没有曾经想过要忘记一个人呢？如果有，那么我想，那个人一定是你很爱很爱，却无法相爱的吧。你是不是跟我有一样的想法呢？如果是，那么请你倒数计时，忘了我，
因为这样，我至少可以知道，你也曾经很爱很爱我。子学，亲爱的你，这份思念只剩下三十天的保存期限了，我终于就快要放下这沉重的思念，可是，为什么，我却是感到难过的呢……？
Ｂｙ 想念咖啡的牛奶

我那天要告诉你，为什么我喜欢《这城市》，你没空听就睡觉去了。
我不知道你想不想知道了，所以在这里兀自说给自己听。