level 2
Dear friend,let’s talk about how to use the pocket money that our parents give us.There are three ways to use pocket money and they have different advantages.First and foremost，in order to developing our habit of saving money,we can put the money into bank.In addition,we also could spend the money in buying books.As a consequence,we will get more knowledge.Last and not least,we are able to use the money in the field that we interested in,such as music ,sports and collection stamps.My point of view on this matter is that we should use the pocket money reasonablely.
2007年08月27日 13点08分
1
level 6
可以看出来你看笔记了，连词用的到位，就是感觉你的文章不够充实，视觉上你的文章字数不够
2007年08月27日 15点08分
2
level 2
没错 我也感觉我很难做到题目要求的“可适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。”这是哪儿的问题啊？
2007年08月28日 09点08分
3
level 6
这个就要求你常练笔，根据要点展开合理联想，按照一定的逻辑关系补充内容其实最简单的就是利用你的连词
2007年08月28日 11点08分
4
level 7
你认为你写了什么老师会给分呢？有些东西你认为写了老师不会加分，不写老师不会扣分，那就不要写，Dear friend,let’s talk about how to use the pocket money that our parents give us. There are three ways to use pocket money and they have different advantages.First and foremost，in order to develop（ing） our habit of saving money,we can put the money into bank.In addition,we also could spend the money in buying books.As a consequence,we will get more knowledge.Last （ｂｕｔ）and not least,we are able to use the money in the field that we（ａｒｅ） interested in,such as music ,sports and collection（ｃｏｌｅｃｔｉｎｇ） stamps.My point of view on this matter is that we should use the pocket money reasonablely.
2007年09月09日 06点09分
6