最近又把这篇虐文拿出来看了。。分享一下。。。
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This one's for Liam
I wake up.
A moment of dizzyness, until I realise it's the doorbell ringing. Fucking hell, what's the time? I throw the duvet to the other side of the bed and try to find the alarm clock. 5.12am. The bell rings again, and then non-stop.
I get up, switch the light on and grab a bathrobe from the chair next to the door.
Now, if it's some drunken fan who thinks it's fucking hilarious to go ring the doorbell of Noel Gallagher at 5am in the morning, I won't give a shit about what sort of headlines they make on subject "Mr Gallagher beats a fan senseless".
I switch on the lights downstairs and press the button on the intercom.
"Whoever it is you can piss off and come back after 5pm."
"It's Gem... Noel open the door."
Is he drunk? I remove the security lock and pull the door open. Gem looks like he's at a loss of words for a short moment.
"Why you're not answering the phone?"
"It's bloody 5am!"
Gem just stares as me, opens his mouth as if to say something and closes it again.
"It's on mute, old man needs a good sleep without any interruptions." I shrug.
"Can I come inside?"
"Guess I can't leave you soaking in that rain." I grin, make way for him and close the door. Gem stops in the hall and looks around and back at me.
"Is Sara here?"
"No, still in France with her mam and the Mighty."
"I... I think you should sit down."
Gem glances at me. Now this is getting weird, I don't like his expression and the seriousness of his voice. Or that sit down bit either really.
"Whatever it is you can tell me without me finding a seat first."
Gem looks like he's about to protest but just lets out a trembling sigh.
"Liam's dead."
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这是我所看过的最最喜欢的一篇，感觉人物性格、语言等都很到位，真实感更强一些。而且这种剧情也是我非常喜欢的，虽然烂喵“光荣牺牲”，但看到有缸日日夜夜的思念，我很是爽了一把！！！！哈哈哈哈。。。
Ps：都怪有缸和大萌乱搞！！孤立咱家烂喵！！！楼主只能靠看小小说治愈一下了。。。。。。。。。

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"Elvis saved me!"
It's the first thing Liam shouted when we came through the door and he saw mam in the kitchen. I winced and avoided her gaze. Liam cuddled against her legs and she picked him up.
"You say what?"
"I fell to the river, drowned, and Elvis saved me."
Her eyes turned towards me and Paul and I knew instantly how disappointed she was. She gasped, looked at Liam and smoothed his hair and then fixed a stare at Paul.
"I told you to look after him and see what happens, I bet you were just playing football and forgot about him."
Paul stammered something. I was happy she didn't focus on me. Paul was older, and it was his job to explain. Mother knew she would get the most honest version of any story from him. I was surprised when I saw tears in her eyes, I just, dunno, safe here away from the river it didn't seem that serious. Even down there at the river, I knew some of our friends could swim, some had to.
"I... I'm sorry mam."
She switched her attention from Liam to me and nodded.
"It's alright, everything's alright now." She swept her cheeks with the palm of her hand.
Liam stroked her hair and then looked at me.
"Don't worry mam, Noel won't let me drown again. He'll keep me safe."
He smiled that six-year-old-kid-smile of his at me and that hit me. Nothing compared to the panic at the river.
"I will."

******************
"You drunk?"
I know he's not but I don't care.
"No."

**************************************
I remember when I was done touring with the Carpets, I came straight home. I dropped the luggage to a corner in the kitchen and just stood there for a moment, staring out of the window at the afternoon sun. Some things hadn't changed.
Call it a moment of peace.
Half a minute later there was loud noise in the stairs.
Liam appeared and leaned against the kitchen door frame, grinning. I think he was nineteen.
Some things had changed. I knew instantly I was in big, fucking big trouble.
************************************
I stand. And.
Why.
"How?"
I'm staring past Gem.
"Overdose."
Why.
"I..."
"Noel..."
"I'm... I..."
He takes a step closer but I back off.
"I just... could you leave?"
I meet his eyes for a moment. He nods, pauses for a moment at the door but walks out.
The echo of the door closing is ringing in my ears.
I walk to the kitchen, pull a chair, sit down.
I stare at the door of the fridge until everything goes out of focus and I just cry.

****************************************
It had been a good night so far. Two other bands and us had played on Boardwalk. We had been around long enough that people had learned to know each other, the usual. Lots of friends in the house, everyone was high or just drunk. Good times.
Liam was high and I was the drunken one, and the small backstage room was absolutely cramped. Liam was buzzing on it all, so was I but he even more so. The chemicals might have had something to do with it, fucking walking Nintendo that kid.
"It's fucking mega tune, that is!"
"What?" I hadn't been following the conversation to my left, where Liam and two guys from the other band were sitting. Liam shoved me with his elbow.
"
Live Forever
. That's spot on. Fucking amazing."
He had loved the song right from the first moment he heard it. Which is what I thought he'd better do, when I wrote it.
"Yeah, it'll be the best rock'n'roll tune ever written. Actually it is already, just gotta get it on tape." I nodded to the guys, Tom and whatshisname. I could barely finish my sentence when Liam opened his mouth again and the rambling continued. I turned my attention to the rest of the room and my can of beer.
First time Liam had sang the song... I don't know, it was weird. After the first chorus I couldn't look at him. Or the guitar, my fingers, the wall or the bloody floor even. I had just closed my eyes, it'd been too weird.
"You know, Noel's got something. I'm John Lennon, and he's like... bitten by some magical music bee when he was kid I swear..."
"Bees don't bite."
"Yeah? Whatever, yeah no bites really, I think he was just born to do that, he's been always a bit of a weird fucker, you know what I mean? Like stars in right order in the sky or some shit."
Deep stuff.
Liam jumped up from the sofa and mimicked guitarplaying.
"He just goes like this and there it is fucking best tune in the world, it just drops from somewhere on him. Or it's like in him and then he goes boom, grabs guitar and there it is out in the world."
I smiled at our small audience and nodded as if I'm was perfect understanding and agreement with Liam.
"All I need is The Beatles and him."
I took a gulp from the can and saw Liam's finger pointing at me. He was looking down at me and smiling.
"That's it. That's fucking it.
Just The Beatles and him and fuck all else."
I had no idea what LP was playing but it was awful shit.
"I'm gonna go for a piss."

I got up and headed outside.
I went out through the backdoor, put the beer can next to the wall and lit a cigarette. The air in that tiny room had been too thick to breathe. I turned around the corner to the small dead-end alleyway. There were huge boxes for rubbish and all sorts of junk was just pouring out to the asphalt. Familiar poster caught my eye and I picked it up, it was the advertisement of our last concert here and don't think I had any of those back at home. I was making a neat roll out of it when I heard steps behind me and turned around. The poster fell to the ground when Liam shoved me backwards and against the wall.
Where the hell the wind was blowing from now? I made an effort of trying to push him off but it failed when he crashed his lips against mine. For short moment I wasn't able to do or think anything. The cigarette dropped down and I just stood there pressed against the wall, Liam's hair brushing against my face and his lips against my lips. Then slowly his tongue traced along my teeth and that was it.
Fucking bliss. All reason lost.
Liam pressed against me, all the way down from ankles up to his lips and tongue. I think I groaned, something made him crush me against the wall harder and I was hard and so was he. I wound my arm around his neck, other palm against the rough brickwall. He kissed, took a gasp of breath and kissed again, and when his hand slid down my chest and to unzip my jeans it was just.. that. Fuck everything and everyone else.
Liam kept on brushing himself against me, and I came stupidly fast. He came into his pants and for a moment we just stood there, me crushed against the cold brickwall and feeling his every breath against my chest. I looked at him. He immediately kissed me gently but quickly, then pulled away. He tried to wipe his hand against the wall. That failed and he casually cleaned the mess to my shirt.
"You twat!"
He just smiled and laughed.
It all was so fucked up in more ways than I was able to count.
(有的我还是不加粗了。。。。。。

我的表情正如lz签名档。。

lou zhu qing shuo zhong wen

记得豆瓣有翻译，但是不完全

一上就这么虐心…

太长不看

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I wake up, the doorbell rings. I've slept in the kitchen and the headache is blinding. There's a moment of bliss between sleep and waking up. There's reason, warmth and breathe against my ear.
I'm in the kitchen and it's afternoon and morning is gone. I'm shaking.
I get up, walk upstairs.
I can't fucking do it. And then I have to do it. I bury myself under the bed linen and breathe.

******************************
We were playing the last bits to Live Forever when I saw a tambourine flying through the air. Liam stormed past me and through the door to the backstage. Bonehead threw me a glance, I shrugged and finished the song. Whatever the kid was doing he'd better get back to the stage, two more bloody songs to go.
No sign of Liam. Twat. I laid my guitar down, feedback still ringing in the hall. Short greeting to the audience and I was off. I didn't know should I be thankful he didn't walk out earlier or just pissed off, this had already some makings of a fucking routine.
"You saw Liam?" I asked the first guy I saw. He shook his head.
Actually I wanted to punch him. Just two songs to go, but it was two songs out of the set list I had planned, and if the little prick didn't feel like singing them he apparently wanted to sing them as an encore. With a black eye and a bleeding nose.
Finally one dead drunk girl pointed towards one corridor and the door at the end of it.
Closed. I banged it twice.
"Open the fucking door."
No response.
"Liam you sad cunt, open the goddamned fucking door and get back to the stage!"
For a second I considered the possibility of him having already left the house, but then the door flew open and I was pulled in by Liam. I winced, his grip from my arm was painful as hell. He smashed the door closed. A good punch was in my mind but it ended up as a slap to the right side of his face. He shoved me hard, and I stumbled against a table.
"What the fuck are you..."
"Shut up!"
I was ready to give him that proper punch now but he dodged backwards.
"Shut the fuck up!"
"I didn't say anything." I laughed. This was ridiculous.
"I don't care just shut the fucking fuck up!"
His bloodshot eyes is what stopped me from hitting him once again. I suppose he sensed it and raised his hands in the air, in his comical manner, at loss with words.
"Why did you write that song?"
"What song?"
"That piece of shit!"
"Well excuse me but there's not a single song I've written that could be considered as a piece of shit even for argument's sake."
For a moment I was sure he'd hit me, but he just dashed past me and stopped next to the wall.
"
Fucking
Live Forever, that's what I'm talking about. Why did you write such
piece of utter rubbish, that's bullshit, you fucker. Dick. Liar."

Liam was dropping the last words from his mouth one by one. I was dumbfounded, really.
"You stormed off the stage because Live Forever is so bad you can't stand it?" I was laughing.
"It isn't bad, it's just full of rubbish."
He sounded like he was
sobbing. I couldn't believe it.
Live Forever was apparently so bad it made the little fucker cry? Well that explained the eyes.
"I don't know what you're on but you better get your shit together, you'll be singing that song for the rest of the tour wanted it or..."
"Shut up. Shut up. Shut the fuck up!"
"No you shut up about..."
"Will you just fucking listen for a second?"
I didn't say anything for a moment.
Liam was crying, and I was taken aback by it.
"
Live Forever, what's that shit. We're not going to live forever! You think it's fucking hilarious to write a song about living forever and have me singing it, when we'll be just feeding some fucking maggots or. . wood termites or whatever, fuck knows how soon!"
He still stood, hands to his sides, looking so confused and lost for a moment
I couldn't believe it was actually Liam.
"I'm not gonna sing that. Ever again."
"Eh?" I had wanted to say something else but I was out of words. What the fuck can you say?
Your twenty-two year old brother telling you that he can't sing some tune because he just realised he's not immortal.
"So you're saying... right, you're saying you never ever thought about that, like, ever before?"
He's fucking twenty-two.
"No."
Jesus.
We stared at each other for a moment. I think that was, if you excuse the cheeky expression, the one time he broke my heart.
I walked over to Liam and put my arm around his shoulder.
"Come on, let's get you properly drunk."
（我是对话控~~~~~~~~~~~~。。liam说live forever是烂歌，就因为他和noel不能真正地live forever~~傻瓜还哭了，诺叔很是无语啊。。。。。。。。。。。。）

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I wish I could rip the sheets into pieces but I do not have the power. I can barely feel my legs or arms. Face pressed against the pillow I can hardly breathe, it sounds slow to my ears. But it isn't louder than the endless why.

*********************************
"That's a crap tune."
Liam stared at me over the mixing desk.
"Well at least you don't have to sing it." He was pissing me off, again.
"I'm not gonna have you putting some sad miserable shit tune on our single."
"Why don't you go and write
a fucking merry-go-round song then and let's have that."
"We're not gonna put that
two-cunts-have-a-nice-fucking-chatter-tonight song on that single."
I didn't get what was his issue.
"Just fuck off before I'll fuck off, again."
That made Liam angry. He threw his arms to the air, knocking down a lamp on the desk.
"I'm not gonna have some fucking singalong tune on that bloody single about some bird saving your fucking life."
He fixed a stare at me and walked out of the room.
（烂喵好惨的赶脚。。。。诺叔掌嘴！！！

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I lay on the bed and stare the late afternoon sunrays on the wall. The mobile phone on the bedside table lights up, I do not want to answer. It goes off, but a minute later someone's trying to call again. It's still on mute. I pick it up, Sara is calling.
"Hello."
There's a silence and then she begins.
"I... I heard that..."
"Yeah."
"Christ... Noel... I... I tried to call earlier."
"It's alright, it's alright."
I bury my face against the pillow and inhale deep. Why the smell has to linger when he's not here anymore.
"Sara listen, where are you?"
"I was... was thinking of taking the next plane."
"No. I mean, just stay there for a while longer, alright?"
Silence.
"Everything's fine here... just stay there, please."
"It doesn't sound like everything's alright there. I could be there this evening already."
"Just stay there. Please."
I sound pathetic and she doesn't deserve it.
"Call me then."
"I will."
I hang up the phone and shut my eyes.
（难道诺叔伤心的情节只能出现在小说里么。。。

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Let's get two facts straight. Fact one, I was out of my head on cocaine. That was more of a rule than an exception around that time. So what I did, I'm not sure if I'd done it if it wasn't for cocaine. Fact two, what I felt back there was in no way affected by any chemical substance, I'm positive about that.
Loch Lomond, the biggest warm-up concert in music history. Liam was pacing back and forth, a can of ale in his hand, hood over the eyes, the kid was shitting himself before big shows. The introtape kicked in and the sheer power of fourty-thousand people shouting made me stand up. Liam took one wild look around the trailer and rushed out. 'Here we go,' I thought.
I followed and saw him climbing the stairs up to the stage. No one moved to stop him, there was no one there who would've even considered stopping him. As I reached the back of the stage, he was there, arms spread wide open, bowing and gesturing the audience.
"C'mon!"
I could barely hear his shouting through the music and the noise the audience was making. He sat down and I stared at his back for a few seconds and then walked over. Another wave of thousands of people screaming incomprehendable nonsense to the air. I stood there behind him, and it was fucking madness. Fourty-thousand people who loved me. Fourty-thousand people who loved Liam.
I looked down and wrapped my arms around his neck. He tensed, somewhat suprised, and looked up at me. Fuck, but those eyes killed me, right there in the middle of the madness. He met me midway and I kissed him.
Fourty-thousand cheering people and Liam. Fuck the rest. Best moment of my life, that far.

(喜极而泣)
罗蒙湖~~！！！！！！！！！没看过动态的哭了。。。。

********************************8
It's the phone again. Still on mute. Mother.
"Oh Noel... gods. Noel."
She's crying and I feel a lump in my throat.
"I've tried to call you so many times, I called the others too and they said..."
She swallows couple of times and I have to say something.
"I just wanted time to think. I should've called."
But I didn't even think about it. I wish I could soothe her but I can't.
"Mam, I..."
She takes a deep breath and sounds so strong.
"Just take your time. Paul's here... I'll be fine. We'll be fine."
"I..."
"I just wanted to hear your voice, to know you're there."