Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.

Have you seen eagles catch their prey? They’re really talonted.

A rope walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Bartender tells him, "We don't serve ropes in here." So the rope leaves the bar and goes outside, asks a guy passing to fray him at both ends and tie him in a knot. The guy does what the rope asks, and then the rope goes back inside and orders a beer. The bartender looks at him and asks, "Aren't you that rope that was just in here?" And the rope says, "I'm a frayed knot!"

身为英文盲的我跪了