bat problemThree pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "You know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away." 　　Another said, "Yes, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I've been had the place fumigated, and they still won't go away."" 　　The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven't seen one back since!" 

where is god?A couple had two little boys ages 8 and 10who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew thatif any mischief occurred in their towntheir sons were probably involved. 　　They boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old firstin the morning with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. 　　The clergyman a huge man with a booming voicesat the younger boy down and asked him sternly〃Where is God？〃. 　　They boy's mouth dropped openbut he made no response sitting there with his mouth hanging openwide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone 〃Where is God？〃 Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed 〃WHERE IS GOD？〃 The boy screamed and bolted from the roomran directly home and dove into his closetslamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet he asked〃What happened？〃 The younger brother gasping for breath replied 〃We are in BIG trouble this time dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it〃

another 30-40years to live A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near-death experience. 　　During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it. 　　God says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live. 　　Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face 　　lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, and a tummy tuck. 　　She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figures that 　　since she's got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of 　　it. 　　She walks out the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an 　　ambulance speeding up to the hospital. 　　She arrives in front of God again and asks, "I thought you said I had 　　another 30-40 years?" 　　God replies, "Sorry, I didn't recognize you."

恩 不错；。二爷多发点这种帖子啊！最好带上中文翻译

如果带上中文翻译，我相信大多数朋友都会选择跳过英文直接去读中文的，那样就失去了英文交流的意义。