now and then i'm scared, when i seem to forget how sounds become words or even sentences ... no, i don't speak anymore and what could i say, since no-one is there and there is nothing to say ... so, i prefer to lie in darkest silence alone ... listening to the lack of light, or sound, or someone to talk to, for something to share ... - but there is no hope and no-one is there. no, no, no ...- not one living soul and there is nothing (left) to say, in darkness i lie all alone by myself, sleeping most of the time to endure the pain. i am not breathing a word, i haven't spoken for weeks and yet the mistress inside me is (secretly) straining her ears. but there is no-one, and it seems to me at times that with every passing hour another word is leaving my mind ... i am the mistress of loneliness, my court is deserted but i do not care. the presence of people is ugly and cold and something i can neither watch nor bear. so, i prefer to lie in darkness silence alone, listening to the lack of light, or sound, or someone to talk to, for something to share ... - but there is no hope and no-one is there. no, i don't speak anymore and what should i say, since no- one is there and there is nothing to say? all is oppressive, alles ist schwer, there is no-one and no-one is there ... http://hi.baidu.com/godbone/blog/item/e1918e2f0e446b381e30895f.html

I AM HERE.