我是高二的学生，我们老师每单元都要写一篇文章，您看我能得多少分？The most scientific achievementIn mordern times there are more and more inventions in our daily life,such as computers,cars,electricity,telephones,MP3,and so on.but in my opinion, the most scientific achievement is the electricity, the reason is very easy.We can't leave it.Telephones ,computers lamps,TV and many things can't leave it,If we have no electricity,our life will be boring and inconvenient,so we can't without them.At last, Ithink,the scientific achievement is the most significant thing in our beautiful life.

We can't leave it.你想说We can't live without it吧。后面的一个意思。so we can't without them有点多余。很多他讲的恶心词汇和句型都没有替换掉啊。注意一下逻辑关系，有点高级语法，文采会更好的。高二就是自由啊，时间充裕啊……慢慢来哈……某人我继续帮你忙嘎……