作文题目是咱们新东方写作教科书的P71的写作样题。When the sun rose, we prepared all the things, such as compass, flashlight,first-aid kit and so on, and set off.Then we passed a mountain.Facing a river, we were all worried how we could passed it.After a while, we found a board near the river.We swam and pushed it with putting our equipment on. Having passed the river, we walked into a forest. If the terrain was not intricated, we wouldn't get lost. At that time,Li Hua asked me,"which way?" I hesitated and looked around the circumference, the answered that the way which had several flowers. At night, we arrived at the campsite we had planed, and prepared food for ourselves.Never have we had such an experience. I think I like it.http://mail3-52.sinamail.sina.com.cn/cgi/base_download_att.php?mid=1163865935.62036.mail3-52.sinamail.sina.com.cn&content_type=image/pjpeg&file_name=Image1.JPG&file_size=39311&attinfo=4-3299-55714-base64&fid=newhttp://mail3-52.sinamail.sina.com.cn/cgi/base_download_att.php?mid=1163865935.62036.mail3-52.sinamail.sina.com.cn&content_type=image/pjpeg&file_name=image12.jpg&file_size=24181&attinfo=5-55933-88174-base64&fid=new这两个网址是题，你可以下载来看。能不能告诉我哪里写得不好，能得多少分吗？最好写的详细点。谢谢。

你怎么看见了当没看见呢？

拜托，老大看完也不一定能及时回阿，他有课谢谢，体谅一下嘛，上次他是几天之后回的我的

When the sun rose,(with the sun rising in the east) we prepared all the things, such as compass, flashlight,first-aid kit and so on, and set off.(东西要说全啊，都是内容要点)Then we passed（是路过吗，是登上。） a mountain.Facing a river, we were all worried how we could passed（用cross，pass 是经过） it.After a while, we found a board near the river.We swam and pushed it with putting our equipment on. Having passed the river, we walked into a forest.（On the opposite side of the river stood a forest, being so large that we lost our way in it.Fortunately, under the help of the compass we got out the trouble.） If the terrain was not intricated, we wouldn't get lost. At that time,Li Hua asked me,"which way?" I hesitated and looked around the circumference, the answered that the way (which had )(with)several flowers(growing). At night, we arrived at the campsite we had planed, and prepared food for ourselves. (what made us relaxed was that we reached the campsite before it was too late.Hardly had we got there when we prepared food and accomodation for ourselves.)Never(On no account) have we had such an experience. I think I like it. 我的电脑系统前两天一直处于崩溃状态，而且最近巨忙，不好意思。你的作文内容要点不全或表述不清所以只能到二类文。18分。

Merci