大奇，周报上的一篇文章，写人的，帮忙看一下。题目：姓名：詹姆斯·库克 出生时间：1728年10月27日 出生地点：英国的英格兰 去世时间：1779年2月14日 去世地点：美国的夏威夷 生平事迹：1750年加入英国皇家海军，1760—1779年库克进行了他近20年的远征。其中1768—1779之间曾三次远征太平洋，他首先发现了今天的澳大利亚和新西兰。 成就和荣誉：他为人类探险事业做出了很多重大贡献。为了纪念这位杰出的航海家和探险家，太平洋上有一些地名以及澳大利亚一所大学就是以他的名字命名的。题目就是这样的，下面是我写的作文： James Cook,who is a well-known navigator,came to the world on October 27th in 1728 in England.At the age of 22,he attended in the Royal Navy.From 1760 to 1779,he did his expedition,during which he had gone to the Paciffic Ocean from 1768 to 1779.He made a contribution to the exploratory career,accordingly he found the Commonwealth of Austrilia and New Zealand.To commemorate this outstanding explorer and navigator,not only did some places in the Paciffic Ocean named by him,an university of Austrilia also was named by Cook.Unfortunately,he died in Hawaii on the Valentine's Day at the age of 51.好了，作文写完了，好爽呀，每次写完之后，都是这种感觉，可是为什么我每次自认为写的超好，分数总是很低，而每次我写得很烂，分数反而很高，真的难以理解我们学校的老师。好了不说了，大奇，你看看吧，帮我改改，再打个分，谢谢了。

James Cook,a well-known navigator,came to the world on October 27th in 1728 in England.At the age of 22,he attended in the Royal Navy.From 1760 to 1779,he did his expedition,during which he had gone to the Paciffic Ocean from 1768 to 1779.He made a contribution to the exploratory career,accordingly he found the Commonwealth of Austrilia and New Zealand.To commemorate this outstanding explorer and navigator,not only did some places in the Paciffic Ocean named by him,an university of Austrilia also was named by Cook.Unfortunately,he died in Hawaii on the Valentine's Day at the age of 51. 20分以上, 不错的

别人写的,我批改过的,自己仔细比较一下吧.James Cook,as we all know,a distinguished English navigator, was born on Oct. 27th,1728 in England.After Cook took part in Royal Navy in 1750,he had taken expedition for nearly 20 years from 1760 to 1779,in which he had reached the Pacific Ocean for three times.What was better,he was the first person that discovered what we call Australia and New Zealand today.We felt sorrowful over the matter that Cook died on Feb.14th,1779 in Hawaii of the U.S.A. Dead as Cook was(状态比动作好),his spirits lived in our hearts.As a consequence,people named some places in the Pacific,as well as a famous university in Australia after James Cook to memorate his contribution to the explorations. I believe that had Cook not(hadn't和其他否定最好不用在句首,有争议) been dead,he would have discoveed more completely new and beautiful places which hid in our world.