作者：kmlover
来一则，发生在我和另外一名美国留冂学冂生之间。当时他们都已经被诸如“戊、戌、戍、戎、戒”或者“己、已、巳”这样的汉字给折腾得快疯了，我很得意，经常有意无意就在他们面前夸耀中文的博大精深。结果有一天，这老美终于忍不住了
那天我又跟他们说起中文里关于“妻子”有多少种说法，“吃饭”又有多少种说法，如此等等。说着说着，这老美突然问了我一句：“K，你们中文里关于做冂爱，有多少种表达方法？”
我听他这么问，也没想许多，就拿出张纸来开始给他写，穷举了从文雅的云雨交冂媾到粗俗的XX等大概三十来种中文里关于做冂爱的表达方式，完了把纸递给他，心想：你小子这下得服气了吧？
孰料那老美接过纸后扫了一眼，淡淡说道：“K，我们英语里关于做冂爱的表达方式实在是太多了，一张纸写不下，今冂晚回去我e-mail给你吧。”
我愣住了，茫然地点了点头，说了声好。
那天晚上，我在自己的邮箱里看到了下面这份长得不像话的列表……


Doing the Humpty Dumpty
Doing the mattress dance
Doing the mattress mambo
Doing the mommy-daddy dance
Doing the nasty
Doing the naughty
Doing the tube snake boogie
Doing the tubesteak fandango
Doing the ugly
Doing the wild thing
Doona dance
Drilling
Drilling for oil
Drilling for cervix
Drilling the ditch
Driving home
E
Ecchi (Ja冂panese)
Enjoying a fl冂esh session
Exchanging bodily fluids
F
Feeding the dummy
Feeding the kitty
Feeding the muffin
Filling the cream doughnut
Feeding the yoni
Finding a hot dog in a jungle
Fitting end to end
Fitting her clap flap
Fixìng her plumbing
Flopping in the hay
Fooling around
Follando (Spanish)
Fornicating
Fraternizing
Fuсking
Fuсking his/her brains out
G
Genital exercise
Getting a belly full of marrow pudding
Getting a rock off
Getting a shove in your blind eye
Getting ahead
Getting beef in yo taco
Getting carpet tunnel syndrome
Getting creamy
Getting down
Getting freaky
Getting funky
Getting horizontal
Getting into someone's pants
Getting it on
Getting it up her guts
Getting Jack in the orchard
Getting jiggy
Getting laid
Getting oats
Getting parallel
Getting some
Getting some front door action
Getting some of that slippery action
Getting some sTank on the hang low
Getting stretched
Getting there
Getting your cane waxed
Getting your chimney swept out
Getting your end wet
Getting your hair cut
Getting your jollies
Getting your leather stretched
Getting your lizard drained
Getting your nuts cracked
Getting your oil changed
Getting your rocks off
Getting busy
Getting your freak on
Giving a hole to hide in
Giving a woman a shot
Giving hard for soft
Giving her a hosing
Giving her a pat
Giving her the business
Giving her the high hard one
Giving it up
Giving juice for jelly
Giving kitty a taste of cream
Giving someone a stab
Giving someone the works
Giving the dog a bone
Giving the monkey a banana
Glazing the donut
Going at it
Going belly-to-belly
Going down under
Going fishing
Going halfsies/halfers on an orgaSΜ
Going like a rat up a drainpipe
Going spelunking
Going to town
Goosing
Grabbing some snatch
Greasing
Greasing the monkey
Greasing the pole
Greasing the wheel
Greasing the axle
Grinding your tool
Growling at the badger
H
Haciendo el amor
Hammering
Harpooning the mustached whale
Hauling your ashes
Ha冂ving
Ha冂ving a bit of curly greens
Ha冂ving a bit of fish
Ha冂ving a bit of giblet pie
Ha冂ving a bit of pork
Ha冂ving a bit of split mutton
Ha冂ving a bit of sugar stick
Ha冂ving a bit of summer cabbage
Ha冂ving a bit of the cramstick
Ha冂ving a bit of the old in & out
Ha冂ving a hot roll with cream


Pole jumping
Polishing the jewel
Popping it in
Poppin' it to her
Popping one off
Porking
Pounding
Pounding the porch
Pounding the puppy
Praying with the knees upward
Probing the membrane
Professional wrestling
Pulping the garbage
Pumping
Punching the ape
Punching the chipmunk
Putting a bun in the oven
Putting the bee in the hive
Putting the boots to someone
Putting the devil in Hell (from Boccaccio's 14th-century novel The Decameron)
Putting your root down
Putting your snake in the grass
Putting sour cream in the burrito
Putting the candle in the pumpkin
Putting the beef in the taco
Putting the devil into Hell
Putting the "Lew" in Lewinsky
Putting the puppy in the dog house
Q
Quickie/Quicky (hurried intercourse)
R
Ramming
Ra冂vishing
Rear attack
Reading Religious Poetry
Receiving a guest in the foyer
Riding someone
Riding the hobby horse
Riding the baloney pony
Riding the pink pony
Riding the pony
Riding the skin bus into Tuna Town
Ringing her bell
Rocking
Rocking it
Rocking off
Rocking the caSвah
Rogering
Rolling in the hay
Rolling the cigar
Romping in the hay
Rooting
Roughing up the suspect
Rubbing bacons
Rubbing one out
Rump splitting
Running the naked wheelbarrow race
S
Saucing the clam
Sawing off a chunk
Schlopping
Schtupping
Screwing
Scrogging
Scrumping
s冂exercizing
Sewing up the hatchet wound
Shagging
Shaking a skin coat
Shaking the sheets
Shock and awe
Shooting the moon
Shucking the oyster
Simple in-and-out procedure, a (My Cousin Vinny reference)
Sinking it in
Sinking the BiSΜarck - (taken from the infamous WWII German battl冂eship that was
thought, at the time, to be unsinkable)
Sinking the soldier
Skinning back a freak
Slamming
Slamming the saussage
Slapping meat
Slapping skin
Slaying the dragon
Slicking Willie
Sliding down the banister
Slipping someone the hot beef injection
slipping in the pork sword
Slipping someone the tube steak
SΜashing
Soaking the sheets
Sowing your [wild] oats
Spankin' the cat
Spawning
Spearing t
he bearded clam
Spelunking
Spinning the cheese
Splitting the uprights
Stabbing the trout
Star-gazing on your back
Sticking
Stirring her guts
Stirring the cauldron
Storming the trenches
Straightening the meat curtains
Stretching leather
Stroking the newt
Stuffing the bea冂ver
Stuffing the taco
Stuffin Martha's muffin
Sucking the sugar-stick
Sweating the sheets
Sweaty rompin'
Sw冂eetening the pot
Swiping the V-card
T
Taking
Taking a belly-ride
Taking a break
Taking a turn in the stubble
Taking an albino piss
Taking it downtown
Taking it to the car wash
Taking "old one-eye" to the optometrist
Taking the fl冂esh Boat to tuna town
Taking the starch out of someone
Tango/ing
Tappin that ass
Taxìng
Tearing off a piece
Telling a bedtime story
Threading the needle
Throwing a leg over
Throwing another log on the fire
Throwing the meat at her
Towelling
Trading a bit of hard for a bit of soft
Training through a tunnel
Trimming the buff
Tuna Town
U
Ugh ugh
V
Validating your parking pass
Vaginal bungee jumping
Vaginal masturbation
Varnishing your cane
Vatican roulette (especially without the use of birth control)
Visiting down under
Visiting the Netherlands
W
Walking the dog
Wallpapering the closet
Watering the lawn
Waxìng
Waxìng the pole
Wetting the hose
Wetting your wick
Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am
Whitewashing
Whoopie
Winding the kinetic watch
Winding up your clock
Windsurfing on Mount Baldy
Womb masturbation
Woohoo
Working the hairy oracle
Wrestling
Z
Zallywhacking
Ziggy-wiggling
Zoinkering
Zug Zug
Zwooshing the swoosh 

英语赢了

Zug Zug
部落兽人中枪。

Taking
。。。。
英语淫了