恋恋丹儿 恋恋丹儿
欦你嘀..丅芈孒..1.啶还.?
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【哦丫】看看你脸皮多厚 ``` 你得了怪病要接受医院的治疗,你觉得哪一种最痛苦?   A 七天七夜不准进食   B 同时照胃镜+大肠镜   C 被连续扎三十针     D 全身毛发剃光光 结果是A的朋友在回复框中输入 [& # 9 8 2 9] 去掉&#之间的空格) 结果是B的朋友在回复框中输入 [& # 9 8 2 4] 去掉&#之间的空格) 结果是C的朋友在回复框中输入[& # 9 8 3 1](去掉&#之间的空格) 结果是D的朋友在回复框中输入[& # 9 8 3 0] (去掉&#之间的空格) 出现[♠ ]的朋友:【为了要让对方开心就会做出没脸皮的事情】厚脸皮指数80%:这类型的人内心深处希望双方相处的气氛是很开心的,如果两个人相处很无聊时就会讲一些笑话或是撒娇,或者是做一些很可爱的小动作让对方感受到自己的爱意。   出现[♥ ]的朋友:【除非要留住对方的心,否则会算了】厚脸皮指数55%:这类型的人很忠于自我,他觉得凡事不要强求,两个人在一起自然就 好了,不必让自己做一些很可笑的事情来逗对方开心,简单就好了,不过当对方想变心或第三者出现就会有一些小小的改变,例如说一些贴心的话或者送礼物…等 等。   出现[♦]的朋友:【什么事都会不想多说】厚脸皮指数20%:这类型的人脸皮超薄,薄到像卫生纸一样,一碰就会破掉,自尊心又超强,觉得不在一起就算了,误会也不用解释,既然对方这么不了解自己,那也没有什么话好说了。 出现[♧ ]的朋友:【根本不知道爱情中有脸皮这回事】厚脸皮指数99%:这类型的人觉得两人世界中好玩最重要,关起门来什么都可以玩,不需要太拘谨,想要怎样就怎样,不过另一半心脏不够强时会被吓的半死。
【悠嘻悠嘻】这个笑话曾排世界第一```!! 一个美国人在中国一家饭店里吃饭。当侍者端上一盘龙虾后,美国人 问道:“请问你们怎样处理吃剩的虾壳?”   “当然是倒掉啦,”侍者道。   “NO!NO!NO!”美国人摇摇头说,“在我们美国,吃剩的虾壳 就送进工厂里,做成虾饼,然后再卖到你们中国。”   一会儿,侍者又端上了一盘水果,美国人指着其中一个柠檬又 问:“请问你们怎样处理吃剩的柠檬皮?” “当然是倒掉啦,”侍 者道。   “NO!NO!NO!”   美国人摇摇头说,“在我们美国,吃剩的柠檬皮就送进工厂里, 做成果珍,然后再卖到你们中国。”   结帐的时候,美国人一边嚼着口香糖,一边笑着问侍者:“请问 你们怎样处理吃剩的口香糖?” “当然是吐掉啦,”侍者道。   “NO!NO!NO!”   美国人摇摇头,得意的说,“在我们美国,嚼过的口香糖就送进 工厂里,做成套套,然后再卖到你们中国。”   侍者不耐烦的问道:“那你知道在我们中国,如何处理用过的套 套吗?”   “当然是扔掉啦,”美国人道。   侍者摇摇头说:“NO!NO!NO!在我们中国,用过的套套就送进 工厂里,做成口香糖,然后再卖到你们美国。” 我看到一个奇怪的现象,就是看我贴子的一部分人,都在不久后做成 了如下事情: 1、恋爱成功了; 2、生意谈成了; 3、升官发财了; 4、心情舒畅了; 5、家庭和睦了; 6、身体健康了; 7、万事顺意了。 这部分人就是先顶再看,看了还顶的兄弟姐妹们。 毛主席教导我们:“看到好贴一定要顶!” 毛主席的话,是很有道理的。 回个贴就那么难吗?
郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷!!! 郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷太郁闷啦 吓了整天的雨``````烦杀了~!下雨ing ``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
≮№丹儿≯ 99%的人看完后当场含笑而死 1:男女朋友睡一个房间,女的画了条线说:“过线的是禽兽。”醒来发现男的真的没过线,女的狠狠的打了男的一巴掌:“你连禽兽都不如。” 次日 男女有同睡一房女的照旧画了条线警告,男的有了上次的教训深夜打算过线,结果因为紧张而未果。天亮后,女的有打男的一巴掌说:“没想到你不如禽兽。” 2:在医院里,一家喜得贵子,孩子刚生下来就回说话,孩子说:“爷爷。”爷爷啊的一声就死了。孩子又说:“奶奶。”奶奶啊的一声死了。孩子又说:“爸爸。”他爸爸啊的一声,一看自己没死,这个时候,孩子的老叔啊的一声死了。 3:袋鼠和青蛙去嫖鸡,袋鼠三下两下完事,只听隔壁的青蛙整夜一二三嘿!一二三嘿!袋鼠好羡慕,次日,袋鼠说:“哇!~~蛙兄,你好棒哦!。”青蛙说:“操,老子一夜都没跳上床!~~” 4:我那天在超市看见一个看帖不回帖的人,他悄悄D把手放在条码扫描器上,只见屏幕显示:猪蹄 8元,他以为机器坏了,把脸凑过去,结果屏幕上显示:猪头肉 5元 5:一只大象问骆驼:‘你的咪咪怎么长在背上?’骆驼说:‘死远点,我不和鸡鸡长在脸上的东西讲话! 6:幼儿园女教师领学生游泳,不慎露出一根X毛,一学生问:老师,那是什么啊?女教师一狠心将其拔掉,说:线头! 7:小女孩总是向小男孩炫耀自己的新玩具.小男孩没办法,只好脱掉裤子说:这个你永远没有!女孩也脱掉裤子说:我妈说只要有这个,你那玩意儿要多少有多少! 8:一排妓女在街边等客,一位八旬老妇见到了,好奇的问:你们在等什么?妓女没好气的说:等棒棒糖!老妇也就排队加入队伍等糖,结果被警察抓,警察问老妇:你牙都没了也能干?老妇笑着曰:我可以舔的!!! 9:司机送领导参加文艺晚会,领导进了会场,司机被保安拦住,司机说:我跟领导是一个系统的,保安说:鸡X跟蛋也是一个系统的,鸡X进去了,蛋能进去吗? 10:一日,某君的老婆生小孩,他急急忙忙跑到医院看望,等了n个小时,产房里传来了哭声,他高兴大喊,我做爸爸了!这时医生满脸愁容走出来,告诉他,小孩子先天畸形。某君呆在那,还没明白什么原因,忽然产房里传来了他老婆的喊叫:都怪那天杀的,看贴老不回贴,报应呀 99%的人看完后当场含笑而死.....如果你没有倒地那你就是1%……
≮№丹儿≯ 妈妈 我爱你! 如果你在一个平凡的家庭长大; 如果你的父母还健在; 不管你有没有和他们同住;   如果有一天,你发现妈妈的厨房不再像以前那么干净;   如果有一天,你发现家中的碗筷好象没洗干净;   如果有一天,你发现母亲的锅子不再雪亮;   如果有一天,你发现父亲的花草树木已渐荒废;   如果有一天,你发现家中的地板橱柜经常沾满灰尘;   如果有一天,你发现母亲煮的菜太咸太难吃;   如果有一天,你发现父母经常忘记关瓦斯;   如果有一天,你发现老父老母的一些习惯不再是习惯时……,     就像他们不再想要天天洗澡时……;   如果有一天,你发现父母不再爱吃青脆的蔬果;   如果有一天,你发现父母爱吃煮得烂烂的菜;   如果有一天,你发现父母喜欢吃稀饭;   如果有一天,你发现他们过马路行动反应都慢了;   如果有一天,你发现在吃饭时间他们老是咳个不停,     千万别误以为他们感冒或着凉,(那是吞咽神经老化的现象);   如果有一天,你发觉他们不再爱出门…;   如果有这么一天,我要告诉你,你要警觉父母真的已经老了,     器官已经退化到需要别人照料了,   如果你不能照料,请你替他们找人照料,     并请你请你千万千万要常常探望,不要让他们觉得被遗弃了。   每个人都会老,父母比我们先老,   我们要用角色互换的心情去照料他,     才会有耐心、才不会有怨言。   当父母不能料理自己的时候,为人子女要警觉,     他们可能会大小便失禁、可能会很多事都做不好,   如果房间有异味,可能他们自己也闻不到,     请不要嫌他脏或嫌他臭,为人子女的只能帮他清理,     并请维持他们的自尊心。   当他们不再爱洗澡时,请抽空定期帮他们洗身体,     因为纵使他们自己洗也可能洗不干净。   当我们在享受食物的时候,请替他们准备一份大小适当、     容易咀嚼的一小碗,     因为他们不爱吃可能是牙齿咬不动了。   从我们出生开始,   喂奶换尿布、   生病的不眠不休照料、   教我们生活基本能力、   供给读书、吃喝玩乐和补习,   关心和行动永远都不停歇。   如果有一天,他们真的动不了了,角色互换不也是应该的吗?   为人子女者要切记,看父母就是看自己的未来,孝顺要及时。   如果有一天,你像他们一样老时,你希望怎么过?   现在的你,是在当单身寄生虫、还是已婚双料或多料寄生虫?   你留意过自己的父母吗?请关心和留意他们正在逐渐老化的过程。
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