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【英文原版】如何在酒吧里勾引女人 Jeff's a handsome guy who gets a lot of attention from women at work, or any woman he looks in the eye and smiles at. Flirting, he figures, is just the same thing, only more. At a bar one night, he catches a babe across the room looking his way. She takes another look to see if he's still watching. He is. She smiles and looks away coyly. Transfixed by her beauty, Jeff's gaze is unwavering. While thinking up something topical as an opening line, he wants to make sure he doesn't lose this connection with her, so he continues to look her way for inspiration. Her glances become shorter, until she whispers something to her friend, who looks his way less-than favorably. I'd better get over there, thinks Jeff. As he makes his way toward her, he sees that she notices him approaching, whereupon she and her girlfriend get up and go to the ladies' room. "Damn, I guess I stared at her too much," realizes Jeff, who isn't completely clueless. A little while later, a fairly cute girl makes eyes at him. Fortified by his recent lesson and some extra confidence because this gal isn't a complete, seemingly unapproachable knockout, Jeff moves in more quickly. They begin talking easily enough and share a few laughs. He lathers her with compliments, spouting such winners as, "Your eyes: they're like some kind of stun gun just holding me here," and "Do your perfect lips have a contract with Revlon, or are they still available?" Astonishingly, inexplicably, his compliments are having the wrong effect. She laughs as if it's another one of his jokes, until finally, after about 10 minutes of what seems like amiable banter that was leading toward the goal line, she grabs him confidently by the forearm and, with mock sincerity, says, "Listen, I'm gonna split, but good luck tonight, kiddo. Knock 'em dead." Kiddo? What the hell was that ? what the hell was that? Women enjoy foreplay before sex, right? When meeting and picking up a woman, flirting is like fore-foreplay. But just as you can do something that won't work for a woman during physical foreplay, you can definitely make a wrong flirting move and your whole sexual house of cards can collapse. Throughout the three stages of the flirt pickup, the key is balance. 3 stages of flirting 1- The Signs Read her body language to find out if she's interested in you. Coy or furtive glances by themselves, or especially accompanied by unconscious hair fiddling, are a green light. Make eye contact to let her know you're interested. Simply get caught looking at her for a second longer than you normally would, then smile as you look away to some neutral spot like your drink or one of your guy friends (not another woman -- unless it's your Wingwoman). Up the ante slightly with your glances, but let neither the glances nor this whole process go on too long (got that, Jeff?). Strike while the iron is hot: approach her within three seconds (if she gives you a second glance, that's your invitation), no longer. 2- The Approach Once you get over there, there are no pickup lines that are going to work. Don't say something stupid like, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven." To avoid that nastiness, simply say something relevant to the situation, be it the bar (not "Come here often?"), her outfit, the music -- whatever. The point is, it has to be natural and seem unplanned. Why? Anything that makes you look more agenda-oriented than genuine is only going to hurt your chances. Women love spontaneity. Introduce yourself with a simple, "Hi, I'm Jeff," and then wait for her to do the same. Then find out if she has a boyfriend by asking something like, "Before I even continue, are you single?" and wait for her reply. But if she's already showing a fair amount of enthusiasm toward you, definitely skip that step -- no need to remind her of a boyfriend she may have forgotten about because right now she's more into you. Make her laugh. Be funny, but don't embarrass yourself to do so. You can rib her a little, as long as she knows that, in the end, you're laughing with , not at, her. Lean in and say something like "your perfume smells nice" -- but only if it does. The difference between charm and flattery is that flattery has an agenda. Take the time to notice what is genuinely attracting you to her, rather than saying what you think she'd want to hear, which will sound canned. Remember; a pretty girl will have been told a thousand times she has nice eyes, beautiful lips, etc. Instead, compliment something you like about her (don't lie -- she'll know) that's unusual, maybe the way she does something. Again, commenting on situational things will seem less premeditated. When you speak to her, be confident, not cocky. You've got to walk the walk with your facial expressions and body language to let her know she's having an effect on you, but at the same time that you're confident. Leave her some room for doubt, so she thinks you're a challenge. 3- The Seduction If the mood's right and your senses of humor are compatible, make sexual innuendoes. Move closer to her when you talk, gradually homing in on her ear, into which you can eventually whisper. Move in too fast, though, and you'll come across as a creep. Make a point of touching her casually. Your hand momentarily on her arm, shoulder, or the small of her back -- long enough not to seem accidental, but short enough to leave her feeling comfortable. If she's interested, she'd be happy in your company or, better, she may mirror your advances and touch back. If the latter happens, it's definitely on. Dance with her. Caress her back, her neck, but nowhere overtly sexual. This preserves her dignity, and will probably work better for you, as it'll leave her wanting more. Then when you have the chance to pull her aside, whisper into her ear, "I'm finding it harder and harder to resist you," and then kiss her neck. If she reacts positively, follow up by kissing her lips. Remember to kiss her right because everything starts with a kiss. post-game speech I assume you know what to do from here: get her so hot with anticipation and passion that she gets your message and wants to head to the privacy of your pad. By the time you suggest your place or hers, it should be a formality, not a bold move. And, as always, remember The Player's mantra: "Nothing ventured, nothing drained."
和女人交谈中必须牢记的6大原则。 我们初学泡妞,如何去把握交谈的方向,一般我们有下面六大特点,看起来好多,其实看完之后你就会明白这个泡妞技巧其实很简单。 1、不能触发她的自动反应。 当你的开场白第一句是“美女你真漂亮”的时候,女人自动就会把你划到你和其他苍蝇男的级别。很多人在一开始就表达兴趣,这就触动了女人自动拒绝的开关。 2、立即带入一个体验。 比如“这让我想起小时候,,,”“我和我的朋友曾经,,,”。所有的谈话都在刺激目标旨在制造一种体验而非寻求认同和试图得到东西。 3、对自己谈话内容的兴趣高于对女人的兴趣。 我们在交谈中,多关注自己讲述和交谈的内容是不是有趣,而不是表达对女人的兴趣。PUA都是在表达对女人无兴趣的基础上,表演自己很有趣。 4、利用隐藏价值展示。 “这个手表是一个女孩子送给我的礼物,”这句话隐藏着预选开关。“今天我没有时间啊,单位有个活动,我来操作的,很多人需要调配”隐藏雄性领袖开关。 5、注意微调。 我们和女人交流不是丢出一连串的惯例,而是不断通过女人给出我们的语言的和肢体的型号,来不断的微调和校准自己的谈话方向。泡妞游戏时候互动的过程而不是惯例的堆砌。 6、丢出谈话价值而寻求认同。 我们和女人谈话的时候不断的添加价值,而不是,去向她们证明我们的自己,寻求他们的认同。 上述六点并非泡妞秘籍但是这些实用的小原则,是很给力的。
从关注女人,到关注自己 我在学习把妹技术成为PUA之前,走过了很多的弯路。一开始我什么都不知道,凭着自己的一腔热情,以为只要自己对女人好,就能得到女人的心,在遭到多次的挫折之后,我开始反思,无论从各个方面,我都是一个好男人,但是为什么没有女人喜欢,不是我个人的问题,一定是我的技术有问题。 那时没有泡学,也没有PUA,更没有把妹达人。我开始研究女人。女人心理学,爱情心理学,情感类的小说等,我不断的研究女人是怎么想的,女人需要什么样的男人,我开始变坏,说话开始肆无忌惮,女人的神圣纯洁的形象逐渐在我的脑中淡去。我在女人眼中的形象也开始成为花花公子。 在没有系统科学的学习把妹之前,我已经不缺少女人了。那时我只得出一个结论,就是人性本贱。你对她越好,你就越不值钱。凭着这个心态,我开始铁石心肠起来,再也不曾怜香惜玉,反倒是众多女人为我垂泪。女人会嫁给一个对她好的男人,但是会爱上一个让她流泪的男人。 女人随意的一句话和一个下意识的动作,我都会有很多的推论。然后逐渐的去测试自己的推断,我对女人的心里揣摩越来越精准,但是我觉得很累。多年后的一天,我遇到了《迷男方法》。从此,我觉得我对把妹,对泡妞我有了全新的认识。 我开始明白,女人是无解的。把妹不是和女人较量的游戏,而是自身价值的表演。我的焦点从女人身上开始转移自身建设上来。我开始无视女人给我的各种信号,我只关注,我是不是做的足够好,足够完美。我也开始真正的了解到,我们不仅仅是在把妹,我们是在构建属于自己的快乐生活。 女人出现在我们的生命里,是为了带给我们快乐的。而不是给我们带来,痛苦,烦恼,纠结的。我不再为该吻而没有吻而后悔,不再为揣测身边的美女的信号而纠结。我只关注我是不是开心。开心才是我们所追求的生活,这就是我们所谓的幸福。TD,女人的心都不是所追求的,这只是快乐的一部分。开心了就去,情绪淡了就算了,一切都是那么的无所谓。 很多东西都是这样,你越是关注,你会得到的越多,但你就会愈加的烦恼。 当你关注自己,关心自己是不是开心快乐的时候,你有时会失去很多,但是你从此得到了把妹应有的乐趣。 不去牺牲自己而获得女人,不去牺牲女人而获得性爱。 把妹是你快乐的同时,让她也获得了快乐,这才是人生的真谛,这也是,我目前所能悟到的层次。
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