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【NM】闲来无聊,翻翻官方推文~ 官方推文(2019.06.19) 艾玛 铁骨慧心:群鸟之食The crew and passengers of The Ironheart were almost certainly going to die. The airship’s hull was being picked apart by a flock of diamond-beaked and metal-hungry parrots. Emma Ironheart, the captain and inventor of the craft, did her best to calm her passengers. “We are absolutely not going to die,” she said, then climbed through the hatch above her and slammed it shut. 钢铁之心号的船员和乘客估计肯定都要完了。这艘飞艇的船体正被一群钻喙食金的鹦鹉撕咬着。船长兼发明者艾玛全力安抚着她的乘客们。“我们绝不会有事的!”她说完便跃出舱房,舱门砰然而闭。 Emma had built her airship for exploration, not for passengers. Today, however, The Ironheart was full of passengers, specifically, a group of rich explorers who’d become shipwrecked in the Severed Sea. 艾玛建造飞艇可不是为了客运,而是为了探险。然而,今天钢铁之心号上满载着乘客,具体来说是一群富豪探险家,他们在断绝之海中遭遇了海难。 The whole experience of rescuing them was frustrating, because after landing her airship, it took a whole day for them to get their stuff on the ship. After boarding the Ironheart, all they did was complain about their lodging and safety, as though being saved from a desolate island with no food and water wasn’t good enough. 营救他们的整个过程其实很令人无语,因为在飞艇着陆后,他们花了大约一整天的时间才把随带的行李搬到船上。登上钢铁之心号后,他们所做的只是不停抱怨他们的住宿和安保,好像能从一个缺粮断水的荒岛上被救出来还不够知足。 As Emma headed toward the bridge, things were looking bad. Smoke was billowing out of the engine rooms and into the hallway. She needed to get rid of these birds, and she needed to do it fast. 当艾玛朝着指挥舱走去的时候,情况看起来很糟。浓烟从机舱里涌出,进入了走廊。她必须把这些鸟赶走,而且要快。 As Emma entered the bridge of the Ironheart, one of her Steelfoot Sailors –automatons that assisted her with simple maintenance and navigation tasks– clomped over to her and stood there, silently waiting for orders. 艾玛进入指挥舱时,她的一个钢足水手——帮助她完成简单维护和导航任务的自动机器——踱步来到她面前,然后站在原地静待指令。 “What?” she asked the voiceless automaton. “怎么了?”她向无言机器问道。 There was a far off –boom!– and the whole ship rattled. It triggered a small red light to start flashing on the bot’s reflective copper chest. 远处传来一阵轰隆声!——整艘船都嘎嘎作响。这也触发了机器人胸前一个小红灯,开始不停闪烁。 “Oh really?” Emma said, feigning surprise. “There’s an emergency?” “哦,真的吗?”艾玛佯装惊讶道,“有紧急情况?” The automaton nodded its head. 自动机器点了点头。 Emma grabbed the bot by the shoulders, turned it around, and kicked it in its non-existent copper ass. “Steer the ship toward land, dummy.” The bot clomped away, red-light still flashing. Good help was hard to design. 艾玛抓住机器人的肩膀,把它转过身来,在它不存在的铜屁股上踢了一脚。“把船开到陆地上,笨蛋。”机器人踱步而去,红灯依旧闪烁。好帮手不好设计啊。 Emma walked into her ready-room and closed the door. It was a small and dangerously cluttered space with a brass desk at its center, a room made even smaller by the crates of unfinished inventions and scrap parts stacked around the perimeter. 艾玛走进她的船长休息室,关上了门。这里是一个狭小而危险的杂乱房间,中心有一张黄铜桌,周围堆放的未完成发明和废弃零件令空间显得更小。 She grabbed a box labeled “Important” and dumped its contents onto her desk. A void pistol, blueprints, and a few valuables tumbled out. Emma spread the pile across her desk. Not finding what she was looking for, she lifted a second crate labeled “Unimportant” and dumped out its contents: tax documents, cease-and-desist orders, fines, bills, death threats, and love letters. She slammed her fists on the desk. “Well, isn’t today a masterpiece of frustration?” she muttered. “Who moved my stuff?” 她抓起一个标着“重要”的盒子,把里面的东西倒在桌上。一把虚空手枪、图纸和一些贵重物品掉了出来。艾玛把那堆东西摊在桌子上,却没找到要找的东西。于是她提起了另一个标着“不重要”的箱子,把里面的东西倒了出来:税单、停职令、罚单、账单、恐吓信和情书。她用拳头猛击桌面。“我去,今天真是倒霉到家了!”她咕哝道,“谁动了我的东西?” The automatons in the other room continued to do their work, but all swiveled their heads in Emma’s direction as though they were capable of caring. It was something Emma had programmed them to do because it’s frustrating to scream about things and have no one even pretend to listen. 另一个房间里,机器人们继续着手头工作,但都朝着艾玛的方向转过头,似乎都很关注。这是艾玛编程时设置的内容,毕竟当你因事惊呼时若没人装作好奇聆听就太没意思了。 As Emma frantically flipped over crates, there was a loud knock at the door. 当艾玛疯狂地翻着箱子时,有人大声敲门。 “What?” she yelled. When no one entered, she continued, “That means come in!” “什么事?”她喊道。当没有人进来时,她继续说,“就是让你进来!” The door opened with a creak and Toby Pop, her first officer, stepped through. “Uh, captain–” 门嘎吱一声开了,她的大副托比·波普走了进来。“呃,船长……” “Did you move my climby things?” “你动过我的攀爬装么?” “Your what?” Toby asked. “你的啥?”托比问道。 “They look like giant monster claws,” she said, gesturing with her hands. “它们看起来像巨大的怪物爪子。”她说,并用手做了个样子。 “Nobody is allowed in here, but you and the Steelfoot and they don’t move stuff if you don’t ask them to,” he said. When she didn’t respond, he took a quick look around the room and asked, “Did you check your closet?” “这里除了你是不允许任何人进的,铁足们如果没有你的命令也不会动任何东西啊。”他答道。见她没有回应,他快速环视了一下房间,问道:“你查看过壁橱了吗?” “Good idea,” Emma ran to her closet and grabbed the handle, but before opening it remembered, “I have private things in here. Get out.” “好建议!”艾玛冲向壁橱抓住把手,但在打开前记起了什么,“里面有我的私人物品。你先出去。” “Captain, the birds are–” “船长,那些鸟……” “Toby.” “托比!” He nodded. “Yes, Captain,” and stepped out. 他点点头,“是,船长。”然后迈步而出。 Emma slowly and carefully opened the door. Two steam rifles, a small box of void grenades, and an umbrella stand full of swords tumbled to the floor. Emma used her boot to shove everything aside and then stepped into the closet, and – awesome – found the thing. Once she’d strapped the contraption on, she called for Toby. 艾玛小心翼翼地打开橱门。两支蒸汽步枪、一小盒虚空手榴弹,还有一个满是刀剑的伞架,都散落到地板上。艾玛用靴子把所有东西挪到一边,然后走进壁橱,果然很给力,发现了那个东西。把装置系上后,她便叫托比进来。 The first officer rentered and made it about two steps before he froze with a cartoonish look of horror on his face, as grenades and loaded weapons rolled around on the floor. The look grew more ridiculous when Emma stepped out of the closet wearing a pair of monstrous mechanical claws fitted over the backs of her hands and feet. “I found them,” she said. 大副刚迈进来两步,便面带卡通式的恐怖表情僵住了,只因这满地乱滚的手榴弹和上了膛的各式武器。当艾玛从壁橱里走出,手上脚上各戴着一双巨大的机械爪时,他的表情变得更加可笑了。“我找到了。”她说。 “Uh...What exactly am I looking at?” “呃……我到底看到了什么?” Emma slashed at the air. “My climby things,” she said, smiling because they looked awesome and they were awesome. 艾玛在空中猛划。“我的攀爬装啊。”她笑着说道,因为它们看起来很赞,而且确实很赞。 “Okay,” he muttered, clearly not comprehending the awesomeness of her invention. He shook his head and restarted, “Captain, the birds have pecked their way into the ship. They’re flying around on the inside.” “好吧。”他咕哝着,显然很不感冒她那惊人的发明。他摇了摇头,重新说道:“船长,鸟群已经啄进了船舱。他们正在里面乱飞。” “What in the five hells are they after?” “它们到底想干什么?” There was a clank on the window, then the dink-dink-dink of a colorful bird chipping away at her ship and her future. 窗户上传来当啷一声,紧接着是一只五颜六色的鸟叮叮当当地啄食着她的飞艇,也啄食着她的未来。 “I am going to destroy those parrots,” Emma mumbled, squeezing a mechanical claw into a fist. “我要干掉那些鹦鹉。”艾玛嘟哝着,将一只机械爪捏成了拳头。 “How are the passengers?” Toby asked. “乘客们怎样?”托比问道。 “They’re fine,” she said, and waved off the question. “Where are the birds?” “他们很好。”她一边回答一边挥手。“鸟在哪儿?” “They seem to be congregating by the bow of the Ironheart,” Toby said, pointing toward the front of the ship, but Emma had become distracted trying to pick the void pistol up off her desk. The claw covered the topside of her hand and had huge talons that curved over each finger, making it difficult for her to pick things up that were flat against a surface. “At this point in our journey, the cargo holds are nearly empty,” she said. “它们好像聚集在钢铁之心号的船头。”托比指着飞艇的前部说道,但艾玛已经分心了,她正试图从桌上拿起那把虚空手枪。每根手指上都有巨大而弯曲的爪子覆盖着指尖,这使得她很难把平放在表面上的东西拿起来。“行程至此,咱们的货舱差不多还空着吧。”她说道。 “Uh...captain?” Toby looked concerned. “Maybe try–” “呃……船长?托比看上去很担心。“也许可以试试……” “I got this, Toby.” Emma glared at him for a long moment. “我明白了,托比。”艾玛瞪了他一会儿。 “Yes, captain,” he said, sighing resignedly at her stubbornness. “是,船长!”他说道,并对她的顽固不置可否地叹了口气。 Emma slid the gun toward the edge of the table using the side of one hand, hoping to drop it into her other hand once it fell. As the gun neared the edge, the ship hit a bump of turbulence, and the pistol landed on the floor and a blast of void energy nearly vaporized Toby’s head. 艾玛用一只手的侧边把枪滑向桌子边缘,希望它正好掉落到另一只手上。接近桌边时,船撞上了气流,手枪掉到了地板上,一股虚空能量差点蒸发了托比的头。 He screamed. 他惊叫出声。 The captain and her first officer stared blankly at one another. Seeing that Toby hadn’t been hit, Emma pointed at the gun, and said, “Hand that to me.” 船长和她的大副茫然地盯着对方。看到托比没有被击中,艾玛指着枪说:“把它递给我。” While Toby stood there frozen, another bird landed on the window. Now there were overlapping dink, dink, dinks. 托比僵硬地站在那儿,而此时又有另一只鸟落在了窗户上。现在叮当之声此起彼伏。 Her first officer didn’t turn to look, he just stood there in shock, probably considering his life choices up to this point. “Toby,” Emma shouted. “Snap out of it. You’re still alive. Not even hurt. Pick up the gun.” 大副没有回头看,他只是震惊地站在那里,可能正在思考人生。“托比!”艾玛喊道,“振作起来!你还活着。根本没受伤。捡起枪!” He took a timid step forward, picked the weapon up, and trembling, placed it into Emma's hand. 他胆怯地向前走了一步,捡起武器,颤抖着把它放到艾玛手里。 “Thanks,” Emma said. “Make sure the Steelfoot steer this thing toward land and then meet me in the cargo hold. I’m going outside to deal with these birds.” “多谢。”艾玛说道,“一定要让钢足把这东西开向陆地,然后在货舱里和我会合。我要出去对付这些鸟!” Toby looked out the panoramic windows of the ready-room. There was frost building up around the frame from the freezing temperature of their altitude. The sky and sea went on forever, and clouds floated passed as The Ironheart rocketed toward New Vigil. A beautiful scene interrupted by the horror of fluttering parrot saboteurs, black streaks of poisonous smoke, and lethal bits of shrapnel from the engines. He looked back at Emma, “I’m sorry,” Toby said. “Did you say you were going outside?” 托比从休息室的全景窗口望出去。由于他们所在海拔的低温,窗框周围都结了霜。天空与海洋永相辉映,其间白云飘飘,钢铁之心号正飞向新的祈夜世界。这美丽的场景被鹦鹉破坏者们的惊扰、黑色的毒烟以及引擎里弹出的致命碎片打断了。他回头看着艾玛,“对不起”托比说道,“你是说你要出去吗?” (未完待续……)
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