爪子鸡 爪子鸡
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12星座接到歹徒电话 白羊座 歹徒:星期日把钱放到西郊马路边第二个垃圾箱内…… 羊羊:西郊?不如去东郊!你知道吗?东郊有座山,山势很险,很刺激…… 歹徒已经准备好行囊去东郊过周末了. 金牛座 歹徒:星期日把钱放到西郊马路边第二个垃圾箱内…… 牛牛:好好好!你放心!我一定准时去!你可千万别伤害我的狗狗,它是我家很重要的一员!……(爱护家庭成员的牛牛可真傻得可爱——不过这个歹徒也太蠢了!) 双子座 歹徒:星期日把钱放到西郊马路边第二个垃圾箱内…… 双子:可是我为什么要听你的?你要说出个原因来.你不知道我挣钱也不容易吗?我6岁开始上学,学到20多岁才有了工作,可以挣钱……(喂喂,别说了,对方早就挂了电话了) 巨蟹座 歹徒:星期日把钱放到西郊马路边第二个垃圾箱内…… 蟹蟹:这个,我要和妈妈商量一下. 歹徒:你妈在我手里! 蟹蟹:那我和爸爸商量一下 歹徒:他也在我手里! 蟹蟹:那我和姐姐商量一下…… 歹徒:她也在我手里! 蟹蟹:那我和……(不会吧!家里就剩蟹蟹一个人啊?) 狮子座 歹徒:星期日把钱放到西郊马路边第二个垃圾箱内…… 狮子:笨蛋!你凭什么命令我?你给我听好了!星期日,把我的家人放在西郊马路边第二个垃圾箱内,否则我 *** !(好像……反了……) 处女座 歹徒:星期日把钱放到西郊马路边第二个垃圾箱内…… 处女座:那个地方脏死了!亏你想得出来!就在南郊的咖啡屋里吧!叫我弟弟听电话!……弟弟啊!吃晚饭前洗手没?晚上睡觉前别忘了洗澡,耳朵后边也洗干净……(电话这边歹徒早已一头汗水) 天秤座 歹徒:星期日把钱放到西郊马路边第二个垃圾箱内…… 枰儿:我相信你本质不是如此,你一定是遇到麻烦了吧?真可怜!但你不要对生活失去信心!要坚强!我这里还有100元,你先拿去用吧……歹徒早已感动的泣不成声了.
图书馆的故事(胆小勿入) 操,这么简单的东西竟然也让我考试,要是让我打到把屠龙,我非把校长给砍了.我是天才,应该免考".丁奇边发牢骚边走进这阴森的图书馆. 看着手里马哲厚厚的课本,丁不住得摇头,带上MP3,开始了漫长的复习之路....不知道看了多久,丁奇迷迷糊糊得趴在桌上睡了过去,初夏半夜的风夹带着几分寒意,丁被吹醒了...怎么这么冷啊?!谁没关寝室的窗啊?!等自己回过神来的时候,才发现自己并不在寝室,而还在图书馆,丁浑身一下子冒出冷汗,"该死的管理员,关门前也不看看还有没人",拿出手机一看,手机关机了,再怎么开也开不了,"靠,没电了"丁对着手机发起牢骚, 丁看书的地方在图书馆2楼的角落,也难怪管理员没发现他,电闸已经被拉掉了,丁只好摸黑走到1楼大门口,开始又叫有拍,可外面除了昆虫的低鸣什么声音都没有.看样子要在这里过一个晚上,丁对自己说,他把两个长桌子拉在一起,找了几本书当枕头,看样子也只能这样了,丁奇躺在桌子开始考虑考试结束后怎么练级的事,慢慢有点睡意的时候,窗外吹来阵凉风再次把他吹醒,丁奇咒骂着起来关窗,刚关上窗,就隐约听见有哭声...呜呜...声音从上面传来,"难道还有人被关在里面了?"丁奇心里出现一丝喜悦,其实他喜悦最重要的原因是因为那哭声是个女生....在深夜,低泣声是如此得清晰.. 丁奇再次摸黑跑上2楼,哭声好象是从厕所的方向传来的,他慢慢得向厕所走去...快到厕所的时候,哭泣的声音突然没有了,"同学!同学!在吗??不要怕,我是02国贸系的,你在吗??"可是2楼图书室到厕所长长的走廊上只有他自己的声音,丁奇突然想到了一样东西------鬼,他开始怕,想后退....就在这个时候,哭泣的声音又从厕所那边传了过来,"不要吓自己"丁奇这时候胆子又大了很多.开始往前走,当他走进厕所的时候,突然发现厕所里等开着,这奇怪了,怎么外面看不见灯光了,正在考虑的时候,低泣的声音从他背后传了出来...他转身看见一个女人...穿着衬衫背着他,"你是谁啊?是我们学校的吗??也是被关在里面的吗??为什么哭啊??"丁奇一口气问了好几个问题,那个女人只回答了一句:"我怎么吃都吃不饱,你能告诉我为什么吗?"丁奇正奇怪她答非所问的时候,那个女人,不应该说是女.....鬼转了过来,只看见白衬衫上粘满了鲜血,手里那着什么东西在啃,边啃边有东西掉下来,当丁奇看清楚了,声音在喉咙里卡住了....因为他看到了最恐怖的一幕,那个女鬼正那着一只人脚在啃,人脚上的肉到了她嘴里又掉了下来,因为她......没有下巴.... 丁奇转了身得往回跑,应该说是爬,他用上了两只手...他已经不知道怎么回到一楼大门口的,也忘了下楼梯时是不是滚下来的,只知道连哭带喊得死命敲门....门开了..一个老头拿着钥匙站在门口:"搞什么,深更半夜不回寝室在这里吵什么啊?" "有...有....有鬼"说完这几个字几乎用尽了他浑身的力气,可当丁奇的目光瞄见开满老头的脚时,他再也撑不住昏了过去...他..只看见一只脚,另一只脚只剩下白深深的大腿骨....第二天,学校贴出告示,大意是国际贸易系学生丁奇在图书馆心脏病突发死亡....剧内部知情人说尸体解刨时候发现丁奇体内的内脏都已经没有了...只剩下半个类似被兽类啃咬过的心脏......
期中复习题 Revision for Mid-term ExaminationName ________ No. _____ Class _____ Junior Two April, 2007I.Fill in the blanks with proper words according to the meanings. (Choose from the list below and make necessary changes.)regularly; adventure; queue; completely; companion; crazy; occasionally; recommend; entertainment; display; produce; attractive; appear; value; recognize; intend; overseas; retire; speciality; cookery; accuracy; confidence; improve; identify; particular; academic; vocational; available; practical; train; coach; prefer; convenient; reliable; promise; essential; issue; search; confirm; punctual; stewardess; standard 1. The police s_______________ the woods for the missing boy.2. O_______________ I'll have a piece of chocolate, but it's quite rare.3. You're c_______________ to buy a house without seeing it.4. It makes me mad when someone jumps the q_______________.5. Our new flat is very c_______________ for (= near to) the kids' school.6. France p_______________ a great deal of wine for export.7. The cakes were d_______________ in the window, so a_______________ to kids.8. He is afraid to take the driving test. He lacks c_______________ in himself. 9. Professor Watson is leaving the a_______________ world to take a job in industry. 10. Give me your p_______________ that you'll never be late again. 11. Mr. Weller r_______________ last month and now lives at his ease.12. Are you alone or with a c_______________? If you are alone, I can go with you.13. He is a man full of a_______________. So he likes Bungee jumping.14. I cannot i_______________ this signature. I don’t know who signed this.15. I p______________ the quiet countryside to the noisy cities, because I’m already 70.16. The kilogram is the international s_______________ of weight.17. This dictionary is of little v_______________ to you. It’s useless.18. I r_______________ you remember at least 10 new words every day so that you can learn English well.19. If you want to succeed, you need to wok hard; so hard work is e________ to success. 20. TV sets are a_______________ in any department stores.21. I i_______________ to study abroad, and I’m leaving in summer.22. I had forgotten it c_______________. I can’t remember it at all.23. The letter c_________ everything. Now she’s sure his husband died in the battlefield.24. The corporation will open an o_______________ market to increase profit. 25. We meet r_______________ to discuss business, twice a week.26. He gave a p_______________ advice that I should find a job first.27. He is always very p_______________. So don’t worry, he won’t be late.28. The boss decided to i______ the working conditions so that the workers won’t leave.29. She played the piano for our e_______________ at the Birthday party.30. We'll provide you with v________ training and you won’t find it difficult to get a job.31. He looked at the envelope and r_______________ Jenny's handwriting immediately.II. Fill in the blanks with proper forms of the given words.
b班作业 coach①Our rugby________, Li Gang, trains the team. ②He ____________her for the English examination for several days.③_______he occasionally _______his son to swim?④What time _____his father ________him in English every day last term?control①The fire _______________later Tuesday night.②He was having trouble with ___________the heavy truck on the slippery road surface.③His son is being trained to take ________ of the family business.④He suggests his son that he be a air-traffic___________.⑤Diabetes is a serious but _____________diseaseagree①We don't_______ on everything, of course.②No one really knows why he _______to do the film.③It ___________that elections would be held in May.④If she felt he was right, she ____________with him.⑤He is tolerant of those who _________with him.⑥My parents are quite ____________to my studying abroad.⑦I thought we had an ____________that you would keep me informed about any changes in the programme.convenient①It is simple and _____________to use.②Ready meals sell well because of their____________. ③We apologized for the delay and any ______________caused.speed①The truck was travelling at a ______of 50 mph.②Everyone would like to see a _________recovery from injury. ③The car _______ along the dusty highway just now.alive①We stayed ______by eating berries and roots.②He was kept _______on a life-support machine.reliable①Miller was a quiet and _________man.②I’m _________informed that he went abroad.③Most companies are now ________on computer technology.④There is a danger in placing over-much _________on the Attorney's discretion (n.判断力).⑤In the past, many working women _______on relatives to help take care of their children.fear•He lives in _____of losing money.•The teacher refused to have his daughter in his class, for _____of showing favour to her.•Most students always _____test results.•The baby _______to stand up and go on practising walking.•People ________that Bird Flu was going to even worse.•The boss was _______of his secretary's anger.•He is exactly a _________soldier.还有 1 仿照书P27(6)写书P27(8)的对话 2 学探诊unit4 3 默写3单元3篇课文 4 默写3单元复习卷子上前15个词组有良心的回个帖
让老师吐血的方法(建议39号同学看看) 一天, 老师走进课堂,学生们一齐起立喊:“老师早上好!” 老师愤愤地说:“只叫早上好?那我下午呢?难道就不好了吗?” 于是学生们又一齐喊:“老师下午好!” 老师又愤愤地说:“那我晚上呢?” 学生们又一齐喊:“老师晚上也好!” 老师点点头说道:“这样才行,现在重新喊一遍!” 学生们一齐喊:“老师早上好,下午好,晚上也好!” 老师说道:“坐下!今天我们要复习反义词,我们这样练习,我说一句,你们大声说出反义词。现在开始。” 老师:“今天天气很好。” 学生:“今天天气很坏。” 老师:“到处阳光明媚。” 学生:“到处阴云密布。” 老师:“马路上人山人海。” 学生:“马路上空无一人。” 老师:“年轻。” 学生:“年老。” 老师:“站立。” 学生:“躺倒” 老师:“有个年轻人站立在路上。” 学生:“有个年老人躺倒在路上。” 老师:“我捡到一元钱。” 学生:“我丢了一元钱。” 老师:“我捡到一元钱,交给老师。” 学生:“我丢了一元钱,去偷老师。” 老师:“错误,不能这样说!” 学生:“正确,应该这样说!” 老师:“错误。” 学生:“正确。” 老师:“这不行,这是违法行为!” 学生:“这可以,这是合法行为!” 老师:“我说错误。” 学生:“我们说正确。” 老师:“听老师的,老师说的才是正确!” 学生:“听我们的,老师说的都是错误!” 老师:“你们愚蠢。” 学生:“我们聪明。” 老师:“停止!” 学生:“继续!” 老师:“你们现在停止!别说了!” 学生:“我们现在继续!还要说!” 老师:“你们这些蠢猪,我说停止!” 学生:“我们都是天才,我们说继续!” 老师:“你们听老师的!” 学生:“老师听我们的!” 老师:“学生都得听老师的!” 学生:“老师都得听学生的!” 老师:“现在你们停止练习!” 学生:“现在我们继续练习!” 老师:“你们没完没了了吗?” 学生:“我们有始有终的呀!” 老师:“那你们就停止!蠢猪!” 学生:“那我们该继续!天才!” ....之后老师就躺在地上 吐血啦!! 回帖的不是猪 不会贴的是猪
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