北辰chy 北辰chy
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今天看智联招聘人们投得简历,这是我见过的最诙谐的一个 求职信 尊敬的CHO、HRM and HRD们: 百忙之中,打扰您了。可是不打扰,俺就死定了。 我是一位普遍的求职者。上过讲台、招过学生、做过营销、爬过格子、当过BOSS、做过人资,摸爬GUN打了小二十年,神马也不是,但很傻乐。 初信铁饭碗,考进了师范;厌倦“大锅饭”,又进了私企。辗转于PDCA、ISO、OA与BA之间,素喜创造性、建构性和前瞻性的工作,笃信“认真工作,把事儿做成;用心工作,把事儿做好”,在职场能抗压、敢玩儿命、执行力强、超淡定;爱管人儿、能揽事儿,制度玩儿得熟、善于及时地开各种会儿。没事儿喜欢坐咖啡厅里看看美女、听听音乐、写写小说、玩玩寂寞。能侃大山、会喝小酒、猛得像狼,踏实如狗、激情不减、精神抖擞,没少拉关系交朋友,“十毒”里除了吃、喝,别的还真没有……(此处省略不少字儿) 就这么着吧,抖了抖小胆儿,弄了个又臭又长的简历。 晚上被窝儿里偷偷美着:不算太油猾,压力不怕大;虽不太单纯,至今没成家。教育有想头,培训兴趣佳;人资不外行,管理不分家;手头的证儿没经验多,处理过的工作麻烦比工作业绩多,招过的学生比教过的学生多,“没有任何理由”的行动比说过的承诺多……(此处又省略不少字儿) 行了,您那么忙,俺就别白话了。要是觉得俺对您还有用,麻烦您赶快打俺手机得了。 立正稍息、双手敬礼! 马先生 猴年马月**
我要学会这个歌~~~ 吼吼~ Just gonna stand there and watch me burn But that's alright because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry But that's alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie I can't tell you what it really is I can only tell you what it feels like And right now it's a still night in my wind pipe I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight High off the law, drunk from my hate, It's like I'm huffing paint and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me She ****ing hates me and I love it. Wait! Where you going? I'm leaving you No you ain't. Come back we're running right back. Here we go again It's so insane cus when its going good its going great. I'm superman with the wind at his back Shes Louis Lane but when its bad its awful, I feel so ashamed I snap Whos that dude? I don't even know his name I laid hands on him, I'll never stoop so low again I guess I don't know my own strength Just gonna stand there and watch me burn But that's alright because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry But that's alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe When you're with 'em You meet and neither one of you even know what hit 'em Got that warm fuzzy feeling Yeah, them those chills you used to get 'em Now you're getting ****ing sick of looking at him You swore you'd never hit him; never do nothing to hurt him Now you're in each other's face spewing venom in your words when you spit them You push pull each other's hair, scratch claw hit him Throw him down pin him So lost in the moments when you're in them It's a race that's the culprit controls your boat So they say you're best to go your separate ways Guess if they don't know you cus today that was yesterday Yesterday is over it's a different day Sound like broken records playing over but you promised her Next time you show restraint You don't get another chance Life is no Nintendo game But you ?? the game Now you get to watch her leave out the window I guess that's why they call it window pain Just gonna stand there and watch me burn But that's alright because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry But that's alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie Now I know he said things hit things that we didn't mean And we fall back into the same patterns same routine But your temper's just as bad as mine is You're the same as me But when it comes to love you're just as blinded Baby, please come back It wasn't you, baby it was me Maybe our relationship wasn't as crazy as it seemed Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano All I know is I love you too much to walk away though Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk I told you this is my fault Look me in the eye ball Next time I'm pissed, I lay my fist at the drywall Next time. There won't be no next time I apologize even though I know its lies I'm tired of the games I just want her back I know I'm a liar If she ever tries to ****ing leave again Im'a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire Just gonna stand there and watch me burn But that's alright because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry But that's alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie
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